All good things
by missing-in-venice
Summary: After a four year long absense, Damon returns to Mystic Falls on Stefan's request. Will Elena's newly heightened feelings change when she sees him again after so long? Set sometime after Season3. HAITUS.
1. One

**A/N: New story! I'm planning this on being about ten chapters long, and I already have the first five written so updating depends on the amount of reviews I get. This is set sometime after Season 3, assuming that Stefan and Elena get back together:(they will): I haven't watched the last... probably four episodes of TVD, so I apologize if this isn't up to date with the show. Damon's been gone for four years, trying to leave and give Stefan and Elena their 'happily ever after', until he comes back because Stefan asks him to. You'll see. Chapters will get longer. Enjoy!**

**I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of it's characters.**

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><p><em> "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" – Ralph Waldo Emerson<em>

**~0~**

The spacious room was dark; almost pitch black except for the few items that were lit up. The first was coming from the open balcony; lights from houses and street lamps and the Cristo Redentor fled through the white ruffling curtains. The second was the digital clock which sat on the night stand; its glowing green numbers read 3:41 am and cast a glow on the sleeping man beside it, making his alabaster skin seem almost alien-like. The third was a cell phone, which was currently lighting up and ringing, causing the sleeping man to stir slightly. When the man made no response to get up and answer it, it stopped after a few more rings.

But a few minutes later, it started up again, seemingly louder than before in the man's ears. He groaned and damned whoever it was to hell before snatching it and answering it before reading the caller id.

"It's almost 4 am, can't it wait?" he snapped, barely awake and ready to throw the phone across the room when the person replied.

"…Damon?"

He almost groaned. Almost. But instead he sighed and rolled his eyes, lying back down on his back.

"Stefan. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he murmured, already wanting to go back to sleep. That's how boring his brother was.

"Or better yet…" he said before he could reply, "What's so important that you couldn't wait until morning?"

"It is morning… it's only like 9am." He replied, and Damon can just picture him perfectly, sitting in the study, glass of animal blood in hand and eyebrows scrunched together in all his glory perfection.

Damon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. It was too damn early for this. "Must be the time change." He muttered, mostly to himself.

"You're not in America?" his brother asked. _Duh_, he wanted to say.

"Obviously not, Stefan. Now tell me what you want so I can back to sleep." He said, eyeing the open window and wondering how long he had before the sun started to rise.

Stefan doesn't answer right away, and Damon thinks it must be pretty big if his brother is actually letting the anticipation go on. Before he can tell him to spit it out, however, he finally replies.

"It's about Elena."

Those three short words send a pang to Damon's chest. All different kinds of possibilities race through his mind; did someone hurt her, is she dead? But he shoos them away at once, and forces his voice to be casual and uncaring when he replies.

"What about her?" he asks, and clenches his teeth together as he waits for his brother's answer.

After another hesitant pause, he says, "She's turned."

He really shouldn't be so shocked to hear those two words, but somehow he still is. Damon knew this would come up at some point, despite Elena's unwillingness to become a vampire, he knew. Either because she was dating a vampire whom she was disgustingly in love with or because she was a doppelganger, it was practically inevitable. And after he left, he knew that it was no longer his business whether she lived or died, because he had no plans on ever returning and as much as he hated thinking about it, Elena no longer needed him, certainly didn't want him. This was the first phone call he had received from Stefan since he left four years ago, and he assumed that he and Elena had finally gotten on with their stereotypical happily ever after.

This time he didn't have to force in the tired tone to his voice, it came naturally and he wondered if Stefan was calling just to rub it in his face. "So? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It… was an accident." He paused, "But that's not the point. Elena's not handling it well… and I need your help."

Damon sighed and let out a laugh, he certainly knew what that last sentence meant. "I'm _not _coming back to Mystic Falls, before you ask."

"Damon, I wouldn't be asking if this wasn't serious." Stefan replied anxiously.

"For Christ sakes Stefan, it's not the biggest deal in the world. Get Caroline or Ric to help her out. Hell, even get Bonnie to give her one of those migraine things…" he trailed off, smirking at the image of the judgey witch hovering over Elena.

"You don't think I've tried? You think I wanted to call you, Damon? Well, I didn't. You're sort of my last resort."

"You always know the right things to say, brother." He replied in monotone, and felt a familiar feeling well up inside his chest, the feeling of longing that he had managed to ignore. But this time it was stronger, and Damon could already feel himself ready to give into it.

"Look Damon… if you won't do this for me, then do it for Elena. She needs-"

"Don't start that shit with me, Stefan." He threatened, and heard Stefan sigh on the other line.

"Fine. This is me, your brother, asking you to come help me out." Pause. "Please."

Damon was planning on hanging up, he really was. But his mouth opened on it's own accord and then he was saying "Alright." He sighed, "alright, fine."

He heard Stefan sigh in relief, "Thank you."

He ran a hand through his hair, "One month, I'll be there for one month and then I'm gone again."

"Okay, I understand. Text me your flight info and I'll come pick you up."

Damon agreed and hung up, then groaned at the mess he had just gotten himself into. He wandered over to the open balcony and braced his hands on the railing, eyeing the city he had come to love in the past few years. Rio de Janeiro had been the most unlike place from Mystic Falls that he could think of, and that's why he originally picked it after he had left. There was no supernatural drama going on every day, occasionally he would meet a passing vampire, but that was about it. There was no small town gossip or Mystic Grill, just a lot of unfamiliar people and unfamiliar places. But the best part was that there was no Elena Gilbert.

He sighed internally as he dreaded seeing her again before heading over to the computer and booking the next flight to Virginia.

**Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think!**

**-Marlie**


	2. Two

**A/N: Thank you to everyone for all the reviews and Story Alerts and who added it on the Favorites; so here's the next chapter. After this one, they do start to get longer, I promise. This one is Damon POV again, but the next one will switch to Elena's, which it will probably do throughout the whole thing. There's a bit of Damon/Stefan bonding in here, because I love their brotherly relationship. Is that weird? **

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Damon was annoyed.<p>

He had forgotten how much he hates planes; being in a small space with a bunch of annoying humans for hours on end was definitely not his forte. And currently he was standing in the isle between the seats, waiting for some lady to get her bag down, which she was obviously having trouble with. He briefly though about ripping into her throat, just for kicks, but then remembered he wasn't _like that _anymore. Nope, Damon Salvatore did not drink from humans. Of course, he wasn't going around chasing birds and squirrels and rabbits, but blood bags were more his thing. He often hated thinking about how pathetic he'd become, but right now he just wanted to get off this damned plane because he had been on it for almost two days and all he wanted was a glass of blood and a shower.

After the lady once again attempted to grab the huge orange bag, he finally reached forward and pushed it down for her. She turned to look at him and blushed, stuttering out thanks and finally continuing down the aisle. When he finally stepped out of the tunnel connecting to the airport, he breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed the two day old scruff on his chin, looking around for his brother. Instead, he spotted another very familiar face.

"Ric!" he greeted cheerfully at the sight of his old friend, and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Damon. You look… different." Alaric said as he awkwardly patted Damon on the shoulder.

Damon scoffed, "I look different? Is that a gray hair I see?" he chided, and watched as Alaric self-consciously ran a hand through his hair.

"Still a dick, I see." He said as they started walking towards the exit.

"Still patronizing, I see." Damon quipped, rolling his eyes.

"So why did my brother decided to send to you, was he really that excited to see me?" Damon asked as they found Alaric's car.

"No, I offered."

"Aw, Ric, did you miss me?" Damon asked sarcastically, and Alaric scoffed. They were quiet as they backed out of the airport parking lot and onto the highway, heading towards Mystic Falls.

"So… is it really that bad?" Damon eventually asked, and Alaric scrunched his eyebrows together in knowingness.

"It's pretty bad." He murmured, hands tightening visibly on the steering wheel.

"How bad?" Damon asked.

"I'll let Stefan fill you in on the details." Alaric replied, and Damon let it drop. They continued to drive in silence, and when they passed the "Welcome to Mystic Falls" sign, Damon got an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Home sweet home." He muttered, and Alaric sent him a knowing look.

They passed all the familiar buildings; town square, the Lockwood residence, The Grill, and the graveyard. Soon they were pulling into the Salvatore boarding house, and Damon wanted to groan when he spotted Caroline's car parked in the driveway, with Elena's in front of it.

"Great, the gangs all here." He said as they headed to the front door.

"I think Caroline took Elena hunting."

"And does she know I'm here?" Damon asked.

Alaric shook his head and smiled tightly, "I don't think so."

"Perfect." Damon muttered as they stepped into the familiar interior, where Damon dropped his bag with a soft thud. "I'm home!" he called out, half serious, to the mostly empty house.

"Damon."

Damon turned around to see Stefan, descending from the stairs, and smirked. "Brother." He greeted. Stefan eyed his brother up and down.

"You look... different."

"And you look exactly the same." Damon replied as he took in his brother's rolled up sleeves and scrunched up eyebrows.

Ric grimaced from behind them, "I'll leave you guys to talk." He said, and pulled the door shut behind him. Damon turned back to face Stefan, who stood there eyeing him still. Damon nodded his head towards the study and they headed into the room, Damon immediately going to the liquor table.

"I guess some things never change." He heard Stefan mutter, and Damon raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of the burning liquid.

"So, Stef. Why am I here again?" Damon asked, forcing his tone to be casual.

"Because I don't know what else to do. Elena can't keep control; she's already killed three people…" Stefan trailed off, and Damon grimaced. He didn't think he'd ever have to imagine Elena taking someone's life, let alone three.

"She refuses to do the animal blood diet, and she keeps going around compelling people… this isn't her, Damon." Stefan finished.

"Why don't you just lock her up?" Damon asked carelessly, swirling his drink around.

"I can't just lock her up, Damon!" Stefan snapped, and Damon's eyebrows rose.

"Okay, well, you could just try letting her do what she wants." He paused, "You know, stop trying to force her to be something she doesn't want to be."

Stefan narrowed his eyes and shook his head, "You may be okay with people dying but I'm not, and I know when Elena actually realizes what she's done, she'll feel guilty enough." He said, and Damon sighed.

"Well then, I don't know what I can do that you can't, Stefan." Damon said, and this time Stefan sighed.

"She'll listen to you; she's always listened to you." Stefan said slowly, wariness and a note of something else. Damon looked down into his drink and wanted to scoff. Elena _never _listened to him, what was Stefan talking about? If she had, he probably wouldn't have left in the first place.

He certainly didn't come all the way out here for nothing, so instead he replied "What do you want me to do?"

Stefan hesitated, "Just… talk to her, work with her, teach her." He paused, "It worked on me." he said quietly.

The sentence brought back the cringe-worthy moments when Damon had tried to get Stefan to control himself around human blood. Corpses of young girls, blood bags strewn everywhere, Elena's face when she saw Stefan feeding from the blonde girl's neck with Damon standing beside him.

He snapped himself back to reality and nodded wearily, deciding to keep the fact to himself that this wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

Damon headed towards the door "So where is she, anyways?" he asked although Alaric already told him before.

"Caroline's trying to get her to hunt animals, which I've already attempted at least three times." He said.

"She doesn't know I'm here, does she?" he asked his brother knowingly, and smirked when he saw Stefan's expression.

"I haven't… gotten around to it yet." Stefan replied.

"Same old Stefan." Damon chided jokingly, "So, what room do I get?" he asked sarcastically as he walked down the hallway.

"Same old Damon." Stefan muttered back, causing Damon to smirk.

He grabbed his duffel bag and headed up the stairs to his room, before he reached the top of the stairs, his brother called his name.

"It's… good seeing you again." Stefan said slowly and attempted to smile, which came out as more of a grimace. Damon turned around, attempting to hide his surprise, and nodded, almost hating that he sounded so sincere. "You too."

~0~

**Next chapter has Damon and Elena encounter. Please drop off a review! :)**


	3. Three

If there was one thing Elena hated the most about being a vampire, it was the sensitive hearing. Sure, it came in handy when she wanted to eavesdrop on Caroline and Stefan talking about her, but most of the time she just ended up hearing stuff she didn't want to hear. You know what they say about eavesdroppers.

Caroline was talking about control or something beside her as they walked up the boarding house driveway, and Elena found it difficult to tune the high pitched voice out. She had the urge to cover her ears and sing loudly so didn't have to listen to it.

"You just have to want it-" Caroline trailed off as they stepped into the house, and her eyes widened briefly as she looked around. Although Elena was thankful for the interruption, she wondered what made the blonde tense up. She felt something too, a fourth presence of a vampire in the house.

They both looked up as Stefan emerged from upstairs, and he and Caroline exchanged a glance that Elena didn't miss. She narrowed her eyes,

"What's going on?" she asked, looking between the two. They both looked hesitant to say anything, and when neither answered her she sighed angrily. Anger was the emotion she felt the most these days, because everything seemed to make her angry; the way everyone looked at her like she was a ticking time bomb, the lack of control, the killings…

She sighed once more, trying to calm down and tried again, "Who's here?" but before either could answer a voice came from the doorway leading to the study.

"That would be me."

Elena froze at the voice; she knew that voice, knew it like she did the back of her hand. She felt familiar eyes on her, knew that they were currently looking her up and down like they used to what seemed like hundreds of years ago. She spun around, meeting the eyes of Damon Salvatore.

"Damon." She croaked out, her usually smooth voice hoarse and unstable as she took in his familiar features. His black hair seemed longer than she ever remembered it to be, a few strands curling around his right ear. He had a five o' clock shadow coating half his face, making his cerulean eyes impossibly shine brighter. Somehow, he was unfathomably more beautiful then she remembered.

"Elena." He replied, her name rolling of his tongue and Elena was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu.

The two vampires stood awkwardly behind them as Elena and Damon stared at each other, until Caroline cleared her throat loudly. Elena felt a pang in her heart as she watched Damon's lip twitch up into an all too familiar smirk as he regarded the blonde vampire.

"It's always a pleasure seeing you, Barbie." He murmured, and Caroline scoffed.

"Well, it's never a pleasure seeing you, Damon." She replied half serious, and Damon's smirk grew. Stefan grimaced and grabbed Caroline's arm, tugging her towards the door.

"Let's go do that thing… that we were supposed to do." Stefan said while looking between the two, and Elena watched them retreat outside and shut the door behind them. She turned slowly back to face Damon, and watched him roll his eyes. Suddenly, it was way too silent as the two regarded each other. She wanted to speak, wanted to ask him and tell him the many things she hadn't gotten the chance to, but she didn't know where to start. She couldn't even figure out how to open her mouth. Damon suddenly turned around and walked into the living room, and Elena hesitantly followed him.

When he immediately walked over to pour himself a drink, Elena smiled and a sense of nostalgia washed over her.

"So, where is it?" He asked as he turned to face her, leaning against the side of the table. Elena narrowed her eyes, confused.

"Where's what?" She asked, watching his arms flex as he crossed them.

"Aren't you going to ask why I came back?" he asked, unaware of how she was watching him and narrowing his eyes expectantly. Elena snapped her eyes up to meet his, and mulled over his question. No, not really, she wanted to say. She had always assumed that if he came back (which she constantly thought he would in the first two years) it would be because he wanted to.

Instead, she shook her head slowly, "Why?" she asked, not sure if she was asking his question or something else. However, he guessed the first and replied.

"Stefan's been telling me that you've been a very bad vampire." He said, and Elena impulsively let out a laugh, and Damon raised an eyebrow. Elena pursed her lips and shook her head.

"A vampire? Maybe. But a bad vampire? Don't you think drinking from rabbits and squirrels would really make me a _bad _vampire?" She said, and Damon cocked his head to one side at her tone.

"Okay… where the hell is all this coming from?" he asked, looking at her as if she was crazy. "You sound like me when I make fun of Stefan." He finished and set down his drink, walking up to her.

"The Elena I know would never want to kill anyone." He said as he came within a foot of her, and Elena flinched, either at what he said or his close proximity. She wanted to tell him that the Elena he knew was gone, but instead she changed the subject.

"Where have you been?" she asked, looking up at him. Her newly sharp eyes detected bits of gray in his eyes that she had never noticed before, and a silver ring around his iris. A corner of his mouth slid up into a smirk, "Wouldn't you like to know?" he said, and turned around, walking away from and picking his drink back up.

"Damon… it's been four years. No phone call, no letter, no nothing. You just… disappeared." She finished, inwardly begging him to give her some answers. However, when he plastered a smirk on his face, she knew she wasn't getting anywhere.

"Stefan somehow got the idea in that abnormally big head of his that _I _can help you." He said, and turned to face her. She realized that he wasn't going to answer her previous inquisition and sighed.

"Help me what?" she asked wearily.

"You know, help you get your groove back. If you don't stop killing people, the council's gonna get on your back. Take it from me, it's not fun."

Elena shook her head, pulling her eyebrows together "I didn't mean to kill those people… I don't what had gotten into me. I was just… thirsty and-"Damon cut her off by holding his hand up.

"You don't have to tell me, I get it." He said, looking at her understandingly.

She sighed quietly and smiled at him, "Thank you." She said softly.

"But if you don't want to drink animal blood, we have to get you to control yourself when you're drinking from the source." He finished, looking at her with the indications in his eyes. She immediately shook her head.

"No, I can't do that again… I might lose control. I don't want to kill any more people, Damon." She said, worry etching her voice.

"I won't let you." He said, coming to stand in front of her again. She looked up into his eyes and saw the reassurance there, and she felt like she did years ago, when Stefan had been off with Klaus and Damon had reassured her that everything would be all right.

"Okay. When?" she asked, and Damon cocked an eyebrow up at her sudden willingness.

"I'll take you out tonight." He replied, and started past her towards the stairs, "Be ready at nine." He said, and Elena impulsively called out his name. He turned around and their eyes met, and the words that she had wanted to say to him for the last four years bubbled forth.

"I missed you."

Something flashed in his eyes then, something she had gotten used to seeing in his eyes only for her, but it was gone in a second, and he nodded once and headed upstairs and Elena watched him go with an odd yet familiar feeling turning in her gut.

~0~

"Where are you guys going?" Stefan asked her, watching as Elena slid her leather jacket on. She tucked her hair behind her ear and turned to face him, plastering on a fake smile that she found herself using on him more and more these days.

"I don't know. Damon said he wants me to practice control..." she trailed off, letting the implications sink in. Stefan narrowed his eyebrows, looking at her with concern.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked, "What if you-"

"I'm not." she snapped before she could stop herself. She closed her eyes for a brief second and opened them, silently apologizing to him for her tone. She saw the forgiveness and understanding in his eyes, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over her. She shook it away.

"I mean, he wouldn't let me." she corrected, sitting down next to him on his bed. He nodded, and they fell silent. Elena hated how things were between her and Stefan these days. She had always thought that if she was turned, her feelings for him would be heightened, but lately it seemed as if they were diminishing. She knew that she loved Stefan, and was convinced that whatever it was they were going through was just a phase, but whenever they would fall into these awkward silences where neither knew what to say she wasn't so sure.

It wasn't just lately, either. It had been before she was turned, which was pretty much how she got into this in the first place. All those years ago, when they had first gotten back together after Klaus was dead, they were both convinced that they could go back to how things had been before. They both tried to pretend that nothing had changed, fooling themselves into thinking otherwise. But it had been different... Stefan had tried to pretend that he wasn't struggling with the urge to rip her neck apart everyday, and Elena had tried to pretend that she wasn't in love with his brother.

She could still barely believe that Damon was back, it seemed almost surreal. It had seemed so long ago, yet somehow it also seemed as if it was just yesterday when she had seen him last. Elena remembers the day perfectly, from hours on end thinking of it over and over by trying to freeze those two hours in her mind so she never forgot, as if the memory was seared inside her brain.

_Elena lay on the couch, flipping through channels without really paying much attention to what she was watching. Now that Klaus and Esther were dead and Rebekah had left town, she barely knew what to do with herself. Everyday was no longer like a horrible episode of Supernatural, and the normality of it almost felt abnormal. When the thought entered her mind, she rolled her eyes at herself. This is what normal felt like, being bored on a Sunday with nothing on TV. _

_A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she jumped up, thankful for the distraction. When she swung the door open, she froze._

_"Damon." she greeted, surprised. Elena had barely seen him over the last two weeks, and she had the sinking suspicion that he had been avoiding her. Of course, she couldn't really blame him. Lately she had been spending most of her time with Stefan, trying to rekindle what they hadn't quite lost over the past months. But then again, she thought, Damon had kind of been avoiding her ever since the incident at the ball a month ago. _

_She shook her thoughts away and focused on the vampire standing in front of her, trying to think of the fact that the blue of his eyes matched the color of the bright sky set behind him. _

_"Five minutes?" he asked, disrupting her out of her thoughts. He gestured towards his car which was parked on the driveway. _

_He didn't need to ask her twice. She immediately nodded enthusiastically at the thought of spending time with him and soon they were in his car and driving on the highway. She didn't ask him where they were going._

_The thirty minute drive was spent in surprisingly content silence. This was when they were always comfortable around each other, she thought, was when they were on the road together. _

_When they pulled up to a small building that sat next to a Price Chopper, Elena narrowed her eyes interested at the title of the restaurant, a smile immediately covering her face. It read 'Beaux's Burgers and Fries'. The lit up R in 'burgers' was out so it looked as if it said 'bugers'. Elena raised an eyebrow._

_"Best burgers in Virginia." Damon quipped, getting out of the car and heading to the entrance with Elena following him. Soon, they were seated in a booth in the corner. The inside wasn't as seedy as it looked from the outside, the lights were dimmed and the noise from some football game sounded from the multiple flat screens set around. A young waitress with long white blonde hair sauntered over to them, asking orders while keeping her eyes on Damon and batting long eye lashes. Elena was sightly shocked when he paid her no attention and ordered for the both of them. _

_"No pickles." he added before she walked away, smirking knowingly at her all the while._

_They made unimportant small talk as they waited for the food to arrive, and when the plates and beer bottles were set in front of them they dug in. Elena took a bite of the massive burger and moaned._

_"Told you so." Damon said, taking a drink from his bottle. Elena followed the movement of his lips with her eyes, and shook her head to clear her thoughts._

_"I guess we don't need any more 'five minutes'" Damon said, staring off behind her. Elena narrowed her eyes at the distant look in his eyes._

_"We can still do stuff like this. Maybe if you'd stop avoiding me all the time..." Elena trailed off, looking at him pointedly. _

_Damon raised an eyebrow, "Like you never avoid me." he said doubtfully, looking at her with equal accusation. Elena scrunched her eyebrows together, but what he said was half true. She had been avoiding him lately, at least while she was with Stefan. _

_"Not as much as you do." she replied, and Damon shrugged. Elena shook her head, and attempted to change the subject._

_"It's gonna be so boring now, what are we going to worry about when we don't have to worry about dying on a daily basis?" Elena asked, half serious._

_"You don't have to worry about anything." he said, and Elena narrowed her eyes at his tone._

_"There's always something to worry about." she said softly, looking at him straightly. She worried about her feelings for him, and her feelings for Stefan. Damon knew that she had feelings for him, ever since that night in Denver when he confronted her about it. When they had gotten back to Mystic Falls, there was a silent agreement to not talk about it again and neither ever brought it up. _

_Damon didn't reply. They both busied their mouths with finishing their food so neither had to talk. After Damon payed the bill, they both headed outside and back to the car. The sun was no longer out, and the sky was black. Although Damon didn't speak, Elena felt odd. She felt as if there was a kind of finality to the drive home, as if this would be the last time they both sat in this car together. Damon kept his eyes on the road, and Elena once again noticed that he was distant._

_It seemed only minutes later when they pulled up to her house, and Elena turned to him expectantly._

_"You're not gonna walk me up?" she asked, because Damon always walked her up. A corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile._

_"Probably not the best idea." he said, and both of their minds went back to the kiss._

_"Goodbye, Elena." he said, and Elena's eyes snapped to his. Goodbye? _

_"Don't you mean goodnight?" she asked, and Damon narrowed his eyes. He was silent for a moment, and seemed unsure of something._

_Finally, he sighed. "Goodnight." he said softly. Elena hesitated, searching his eyes warily. _

_"I'll see you... soon." she said finally, and stepped out of the car with one last look at him. He waited before she opened the front door until he drove off, and she watched him go, unsure of the dread building inside of her._


	4. Four

**A/N: Hello. ONCE AGAIN thanks for all the wonderful reviews and everything else. This is kind of a filler chapter so I apologize for how short it is, I promise the next one is more significant which will probably be updated Sunday or Monday. Enjoy.**

Chapter 4

~0~

~0~

As the two vampires entered the crowded bar, Elena felt her throat turn dry. Swallowing thickly, she ignored the sand-papery feel and continued to follow Damon's leather clad back throughout the throngs of people. Her wandering eyes fell on a girl who was laughing with one of the bartenders, and immediately her eyes sought out the pulsing vain on her white neck, most likely irregular from alcohol consumption. Elena felt the veins on her face, wanting to show and her gums ached miserably as the parched feeling in her mouth grew worse.

A hand wrapped around her wrist, and Elena's eyes snapped to Damon. The spell that had taken over her immediately dissapeared as the sharpness in his azure eyes sobered her. Once again, a brieft second of surprise passed through her at seeing him beside her. Even after the ten minute car ride to the Grill, she was somehow still shocked at him being here.

He pulled her to the bar and they both sat on the wooden stools. Elena spotted the back of Matt's head a little ways down, and when he turned his head up and noticed her, he swung the dish towel he was using to wipe the table down over his shoulder and walked over to her. He began to smile, that is, until he saw who was next to her.

"Oh. Damon. You're back." he started, but when Damon raised an eyebrow at his tone, "Hey man, did you have a nice... vacation?" he asked, rubbing his hands on his jeans. Elena could understand his awkwardness, after all, him and Damon had never really gotten along. Now that she thinks of it, she doesn't remember them every saying more than two words to each other.

Damon quirked a side of his mouth up, "Donovon, still working at the Grill I see."

Elena rolled her eyes at Damon's tone, silently apologizing to Matt with her eyes. Matt shrugged, "Yea, well, nothing ever really changes around here." he paused, "But I actually co-own this place now."

"How exciting." Damon remarked, voice dripping with sarcasm. Matt shook his head, ignoring his comment and asked if they wanted any drinks. When a glass of bourbon was set down in front of Damon, Elena smiled.

"What?" he asked, looking at her sideways.

Elena shook her head, sighing. "For the longest time I used to come in here, and look up expecting to see you sitting in this exact spot, getting day drunk with Alaric."

Damon smirked, choosing wisely to avoid the implications in the sentence. "Who did poor Ric drink with without me around?"

Elena glared at him teasingly, "By himself. He missed you alot, you know." she accused softly. Damon smirked, having a feeling that she was no longer talking about Alaric.

~0~

The boy's shoulders relaxed under her grip, his dull brown eyes glued to hers as her pupils dilated. She told him to relax, told him that he wasn't scared, and then she bit. Elena wanted to groan as the thick blood slid down her throat, coating the roof of her mouth and swirling around her tongue. She felt herself get lost in the hazy pleasure, and she felt her senses sharpening as the blood filled her system.

A hand wrapped around her arm, the touch sending sparks shooting up her shoulder. She attempt to shake it off, a brief feeling of annoyance passing through her for whoever was interrupting her. An unbreakable hold wrapped around her from behind, pulling her against a chest as she struggled against it.

"Elena, stop." Damon murmured in her ear, and as his warm breath raised goosebumps on her neck, she finally stopped, her face changing back to normal. Damon turned her to face him, observing her face to make sure she was in control before pushing her behind him and kneeling down next to the teenager. He bit his wrist and shoved it into the boy's mouth, then leaned in and compelled him to forget the last twenty minutes and to go home and drink some orange juice.

When the watched him drive off, Damon turned to her. Elena was shocked at the brightness of his eyes... have they always been that bright? Elena's eyes scanned his features; there was a warm, excited sensation building up inside of her. She felt her feelings being towered up inside of her, heightened from the fresh blood coursing through her.

Damon's eyes looked over her face, observing her lidded eyes and his eyes stopped on her mouth, his hand reaching out slowly to wipe off a smear of blood on her bottom lip. Elena's eyes fluttered as his fingers stroked her skin, and she felt herself leaning into his hand. Damon suddenly realized what he was doing, and snapped his hand away quickly.

"First thing to learn is to know when to stop." Damon started, snapping Elena out of her reverie. "Slowing of the heartbeat is a telltale sign that you've gone too far."

Elena nodded slowly, remembering the feeling of the human's heartbeat radiating through his blood. Damon nodded towards his car and they both started to it.

"If you have trouble stopping, then think of something else. Puppies, baby panda bears... rainbows, whatever floats your boat." He added as they got in the car. Elena stored this information away dutifully and rested her cheek against the cool glass of the window. But nothing Damon had said 'floated her boat'. In fact, while feeding, Elena found it incredibly difficult to think of anything other than the feel of the hot blood going down her throat. When a sigh escaped her mouth, Damon turned to look at her with raised eyebrows.

"I can barely think of anything while I'm drinking, how will I ever distract myself with something as irrelevant as puppies?" she asked, more to herself.

"Who said puppies are irrelevant?" Damon asked, mock wounded. When Elena shot him a look, he rolled his eyes and huffed.

"It's only the first time Elena, you just need _practice._" he indicated.

Elena shook her head, "What if it never works? What if I become like Stefan when it comes to control? Damon, I can't-"

Damon interrupted her, "Elena, stop. I promise you, I'm not leaving here until I know you're one hundred percent under control."

Elena's eyes snapped to Damon's face. So he _was _planning on leaving again, once she was back to (semi)normal and everything was fine once again? He was going to leave again, leave her and Stefan here to remember him from a few short weeks that he was back? Would she ever even see him again?

The question in her mind brought up a memory from the summer after Stefan ran off with Klaus.

_"Will we ever see him again?" _

_"I will." _

She was a vampire now; immortal and forever bound to walk the earth until something or someone killed her with a wooden stake. Was it possible for two people to live forever and never see each other again? No, she would not let that happen, even if she had to force him to stay somehow. As she let her eyes roam over the raven hair spilling on his forehead, the perfect slope of his nose and his full lips, she vowed to herself that this was nowhere near the end for them.

~0~

**The whole 'heightened feelings' comes into play. Next chapter will be way longer. Drop off a review if you don't mind!**

**-Marlie**


	5. Five

**A/N: Hello. I really love this chapter, and I hope you guys do too. Okay, so has anybody else read the spoilers for 3x20 Do Not Go Gentle? I googled and found something that said 3x20 was a gamechanger for Delena, then I found something else that said there was a rain scene where Elena admits her love for Damon and they go back to her house and make out. I have no idea if it's true or not, but I do know there's some sort of rain scene in that episode. I screamed for like twenty minutes then realized that it might be a rumor. I hope not! If you want the link for the spoiler, then message me and i'll send it to you. Kay, back to the story. Enjoy!**

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><p>A week went by, with no succesfull attempts at getting under control, and Elena was starting to think that it was hopeless. Damon had taken her out almost every night to different bars, compelling countless girls or boys for Elena to practice on behind the building. Each time she would sink her fangs into a neck, Damon would eventually have to peel her off and feed the victim his blood, then compel them to forget everything. And each time after, Elena would feel a sinking feeling of a mixture of dissapointment and aggravation. She often took this out on Damon afterwards, who would shrug and say that she just needed more practice.<p>

He said she needed to find her happy place. But what good would that do when her mind was so consumed with the thought of feeding that there was no room for a 'happy place'? Caroline hadn't had this much trouble, so why was she? Damon had answered that there was some kind of rage inside of her that she needed to solve. Elena replied with a "Sure, Dr. Phil."

Being around Damon right after she fed was also definitely a problem. With the fresh blood coursing through her system, he would be the first thing she saw when she raised her head from the victim's neck, and the same feelings would inevitably course through her. The only good thing was that while she was struggling with the urge to not grab him by the collar and press her lips against his neck, she would forget about the bloodlust.

Stefan dissaproved of the ways that Damon was trying to teach her; she found this out when she eavesdropped on them fighting in living room when they thought she had been sleeping. He had said something about even more guilt being added on her conscious, in which Elena rolled her eyes at, then immediately felt guilty afterwards. Stefan was just worried about her; everyone was. The only person who didn't seem to be was Damon.

The only times when Elena would talk to him was when he was taking her out; other than that, she rarely saw him around. She hated the thought that he was avoiding her. She desperately wanted him to open up to her, wanted it to be like how it was those four years ago when they trusted each other. This train of thought lead to the question she often avoided thinking about; Did Damon still love her?

Elena realized shockingly that she desperately wanted him to. And although she knew she should feel guilty about it, she didn't. She missed seeing the rare tender side that he only showed around her, missed the way she would catch him looking at her out of the corner of his eye, missed the fact that she was the only one to see him with his brick wall down.

Caroline would often take Elena to the Grill, just to practice being around people. It was then that Elena learned that one of the emotions that was definitely heightened was jealousy. She would see Damon sitting at the bar with Alaric, and the girls in the room seemed to flock around him like a group of birds over a piece of bread. Elena vaguely remembered the feeling from when Damon had slept with Rebekah, but this time it seemed it was multiplied by a thousand. When she expressed this to Caroline, her blonde best friend would just roll her eyes at her knowingly.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it does seem like Damon has gotten somehow hotter over the years." Caroline had said, causing Elena to huff angrily and ignore her friend for the rest of the day.

But she couldn't deny that Caroline was right. Although Damon was immortal and never-changing, there was something different about him that was infinitely more attractive than before. His hair was longer, messier, and he constantly had a five o'clock shadow on his face, as if he no longer cared what he looked like. Elena had never liked the type of guys who let hair grow on their face, but on Damon, it was so... sexy. She constantly had the urge to run her fingers over it, just to see what it felt like.

It wasn't just his physical looks,either. There was something in those incredibly blue eyes of his that was different. They were uncaring, but at the same time, they were feeling and passionate. He looked like he truly wanted to help her, but also at the same time he looked as if could care less if she succeeded or not. Whenever he looked at her, she felt as if he knew exactly what she was going through and it comforted her immensely.

She found herself thinking more and more about him than she'd care to admit.

~0~

It finally happened on a Wednesday. Elena hadn't seen Damon for two days, and she was beginning to wonder when he was going drag her out the door and to another new bar where no one knew them. She was in the living room, attempting to read _Call of the Wild_ when she heard the front door slam shut. A moment later, Damon came waltzing in with a pretty blonde girl on his heels.

Immediately, Elena's temper flared up. Was he really bringing some girl home to take up to his room with Elena in the same house?

Damon must have sensed her train of thought, because he smirked and held up a finger. "No need to get jealous, 'Lena. Rachel is strictly here for all work and no play." he quipped.

Elena huffed and narrowed her eyes, then noticed that 'Rachel' had a dazed, glazed over look in her green eyes. She felt better when she figured out that she had been compelled; the thought brought on a guilty twinge.

"Let's do this in the basement, I don't want to get blood on the rug." Damon said. Elena got up, setting the book down on the couch and noticed that Stefan was standing in the doorway.

"You're welcome to join, Steffie." Damon said without looking in his brother's direction and was unaware of the look Elena shot him. She didn't know how she felt about Stefan watching her.

When the four got in the basement, Damon went to stand behind Rachel while Stefan leaned in the doorway. Elena hesitated, and when Damon nodded encouragingly, her face changed and she let her fangs tear the skin on the girl's white neck. There was nothing different about this time; she still got lost in the taste of the blood, the feeling of the girl's heartbeat beating in sync with hers. Nothing was different, that is, until she looked up.

Her eyes locked with Damon's, the azurean of his eyes meeting hers with intensity. He was looking at her closely, and she watched his eyes flicker down to were her mouth was attached to Rachel's neck. Suddenly, she was pulling away, her face changing back to normal. Damon's eyes turned to shock, and he narrowed his eyes when he heard that Rachel's heartbeat was still normal and she was standing up straight.

"I... I stopped." Elena said, amazed. She eyed the twin marks on the girl's neck, not feeling an inch of her control slipping. She turned her eyes up to Damon excitedly, and saw that he was smiling.

"See? I told you you would eventually." Damon said, grinning with a note of appreciation in his voice. "Good work." he stated, and Elena smiled brighter at the approval in his voice.

"I don't know what came over me, I just... stopped." she repeated, hardly able to believe herself.

"I'm really proud of you, Elena." Stefan said from behind her, and leaned in to hug her. Elena dutifully wrapped her arms around him, but not before she saw Damon's smile falter slightly as he watched them. But as soon as it was there, it was gone and he leaned in to compel the girl to leave and wear a scarf for the next few days.

"Whatever you were thinking of, keep it up." Damon said impassively before heading up the stairs. Elena watched him go from over Stefan's shoulder, and when Stefan finally pulled away, he tried not to think of the fact that Elena had yet to take her eyes from where Damon had dissapeared.

~0~

Damon poured himself another glass of bourbon, only until he mumbled a 'screw it' and let the amber liquid fill to the top. If he was human, he surely would have died of alcohol poisoning by now.

His hands itched to kill something, to snap a neck and regain the control back that he had lost. His emotions were all over the place, something that hadn't happened in the last three years. He wanted to pack his bag and get the hell out of this town, go back to his single life in Brazil and never think of Mystic Falls or Stefan or Elena again.

The last few days had slowly been chipping away his defenses. It was torture watching Elena feed, watching blood drip down her chin and her tongue lick it away. Each and everytime, he had to hide his hard on and struggle to not push her against the wall and press his lips on hers, tasting the blood the lingered there. He hadn't fed from the source in what felt like forever, and was perfectly content with it... until now.

But the physical attraction couldn't be helped, and that wasn't what had gotten him in such a mood. He knew that this would happen, he knew that once he was around Elena again it would be like his first day back at Mystic Falls those five years ago... all over again. God help him, he was being drawn back into her magnet tar pit trap and there wasn't a single thing he could do about. He had tried pushing her away before, tried avoiding her, even tried being a complete ass hole to her. But in the end, the only thing that had ended it was leaving the damn continent.

Nothing had changed in the last four years. Elena and Stefan were still together and disgustingly in love and he would always be the third wheel, the guy they called when they needed help and then sent away when the problem was solved. He was disgusted with himself for ever having an inch of hope when there obviously was none to be found.

Damon was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Elena walk in the room slowly. When he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned to look at her warily. She had a clear look of determination on her face. This wasn't good.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating with my baby brother?" Damon drawled slowly, turning his eyes away and to the fire place.

Elena eyed the firery tone in his eyes and the dark sarcasm in his voice, then drew her eyes to the almost empty bottle of bourbon that she could have sworn was full this morning. _That explains it_, she thought wearily.

"Because celebrating seems so appropiate for succeeding in _not _almost killing someone, I deserve a round of applause." Elena said with equal sarcasm, and watched as Damon quirked an eyebrow up.

"True." he agreed quietly. Elena grimaced and walked up to him, taking the glass from him and taking a sip. Damon watched with amusement as she downed half the glass and handed it back to him before sitting on the arm rest on the couch he was sitting on.

"Thank you." she said after a moment, "I don't think I could have ever done any of that without you."

"Yes, you could have. You just have to want it badly enough." Damon replied with an air of nonchalance.

Elena sighed, letting the air out of her cheeks slowly before turning to him, "Caroline and Stefan pretty much told me the same things you did, that I had to want it, that I had to think of something happy... but they never got through to me," she paused, "but you did." she finally said, and waited for his reply.

"Elena..." he said in warning, eyeing the door behind her and wondering how fast he could get on the other side.

"No... just let me say this." she said quickly, and took a deep breath. Damon saw her wiggle an inch closer to him on the arm rest, so that their if she moved again her shoulder would brush his head.

"After you left... I was in denial, constantly thinking that you would show up in my room or that I'd see you sitting here... But then a year passed by, and then another, and I realized that I may not ever see you again. And it hurt, alot." she admitted slowly, letting her hinted words sink in. Damon didn't reply, just continued to stare straight ahead, the fire dancing in his eyes and revealing nothing. Elena's hand reached out on it's own accord and she let her fingers rest on his chin, finally grazing his skin and pushing his face in her direction so that he was looking at her.

Damon watched her movements closely, and stared into her depthless eyes before he realized what was happening, and then he was pushing her hand away and was on the other side of the room in a flash. He shook his head and glared at her, his eyes turning to a steely silver. "You can't say things like that, Elena. What the hell are you trying accomplish here, some sort of 'lets mend things with Damon'?" He ground out.

Elena narrowed her eyes, "I just- I want things to be how they were like before with us. I-"

"You want things to be like how they were before? You want me to be pathetically in love with you again? I thought my love for you was a _problem." _He said smoothly without a trace of hesitation.

Elena stood up defensively, "Oh, so you're still mad about the ball? Damon, it's been four years, and I told you I didn't mean it." she defended, her mind flashing back to that horrible night almost five years ago.

Damon grimaced, shaking his head and was quiet for a moment before thinking of a new strategy. "Where's Stefan at?" he asked with aloofness, and watched as something flickered in her doe eyes.

Elena was quiet for a moment, eyeing him with contempt and recognizing the under depths of the short question. _To hell with it, _she thought before opening her mouth.

"Things between me and Stefan haven't been the same." She said shortly, looking away from him and towards the glowing fire place. However, when she heard a sarcastic laugh, she turned her eyes back to him.

"Don't look so crestfallen, I'm sure soon things will soon go back-"

"It hasn't just been recently... it was before, too." Elena said, seemingly struggling with some internal conflict before taking and deep breath and continuing. "That's how all this happened; how I ended up like... this." she finished, gesturing to herself. Damon studied her, all the things that were different about Elena then he remembered; the fierce fire burning in her eyes, the slight pale undertone in her olive skin, her glossy brown locks, and realized what she meant; she was talking about how she got turned.

Damon didn't reply, just urged her to go on silently with his eyes. He watched as she picked up the glass of bourbon that he had abandoned and took a gulp before continuing.

"Like I said... things haden't been the same. I guess I thought, _we _thought, that if we..." Deep breath. "-_exchanged blood_, then maybe things would better, that maybe it would be like how it was when we first got together."

When Damon's eyes narrowed, she immediately hurried on, "It didn't really work. And we stopped, but not before something happened..." She stopped and shook her head, before suddenly letting out a bitter laugh. "I fell down my basement stairs and hit my head, finding out that I still had his blood in system." she half whispered, eyes involuntarily glazing over with tears.

Damon stared at her with shock, realizing that she was about to cry. And before he could help himself, he was speeding over to stand in front of her. His hands itched to cup her face like he had once felt comfortable doing many times, but instead he grabbed her hand softly. "It wasn't your fault." was all he could think to say.

Elena wiped the few tears that had escaped away with the back of her hand, then smiled softly and squeezed Damon's fingers. "It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. It was, though. It was very, very stupid. I should have realized that something like that would happen, knowing my luck."

Damon didn't reply immediately. His black heart ached as he eyed the broken look in her eyes that came from losing the one thing that this girl had always treasured the most; her humanity. And now it was gone, along with her parents, her biological father and mother, her aunt. A rush of hatred suddenly came over him; hatred for himself for abandoning her. And he didn't know how to fix it.

"I'll take you out tomorrow. No practice, no control, just us and the open road." he offered, "Five minutes." he added. He couldn't think of anything else to do, he just wanted to see her smile, the smile she used to use only on him four years ago.

Elena attempted to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "Last time you said that, you left the next day." she said quietly and with an air of weariness, but this time without the accusation in her eyes that he often saw when they spoke of him leaving.

"I won't leave this time." he said automatically. It wasn't until much later that he fully realized what he had just promised.

~0~

**More Delena road trip next chap and maybe a flashback. Please review? **

**-Marlie**


	6. Six

**A/N: So sorry for the huge delay, but my internet has been down and I haven't been able to publish this chapter. Is anybody else super excited for this week's episode? Anyways, I tried to regain some of Damon's aloofness in the chapter, and I hope you guys like it. I love all your wonderful reviews you've left me and I hope this satisfies you. There's some banter and jealousy and bloodlust and other stuff. Enjoy.**

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><p>~Chapter 6~<p>

_4 years ago_

_As Elena pulled up into the long, winding driveway that lead to the Salvatore house, a strange, small feeling started to wind up in the pit of her stomach. It started to grow as she got out her of car and let herself into the house, and by the time she was shutting the door behind her, the feeling has blossomed into full on tension._

_She wasn't sure which brother she was really here to see(she never really knew anymore), but as she ventured into the study, she spotted Stefan leaning against the window frame and staring outside wordlessly. When he heard her enter the room, he turned around to face her and Elena instantly knew something was wrong._

_"Stefan... what's wrong? Did something happen?" she immediately asked, her mind starting to turn it's wheels and thinking of the worse case scenerios. _

_Stefan grimaced, "No... nothing like that." _

_Elena blew the out the breath she had been holding and narrowed her eyes at Stefan's facial expression; his olive eyes were studying her closely, sympathetically. _

_"Then what?" she asked quietly. He didn't answer her, just continued to stare at her wordlessly and she saw his eyes dart to the stairs. Somehow, that look was all she needed for confirmation._

_Her feet acted on their own accord and her carried her up the stairs slowly, each step causing the wooden floors to creak eerily. When she arrived on the landing of the stairs, she stopped at the end of the hallway, the distance to Damon's door at the end seeming to stretch endlessly. _

_Elena pushed his door open slowly, the creak of the door reverberationg thoughout the house, and as she took in the room, she gaped. _

_His bed was covered with a plastic lining; the once luxurious duvet and feather pillows nowhere to be seen. His drawers were open and empty, as if he had been in a hurry to get the clothes out of them, and his closet was as empty as the life in the room. _

_Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she she felt as if it was the only sound in the house. Why was it so quiet? Where was Damon's sarcastic drawls and innuendoes? He was supposed the come sauntering out of his bathroom, half naked and getting up in her personal space. She was supposed to pretend she didn't like it although they both knew that she loved it. He was supposed to tell her that this was all just some joke and that he still kept his promise that he'd never leave her. Where was he?_

_She looked around the room, unaware that her head was shaking slowly in denial. She saw nothing of importance in the room, no significant bauble that Damon had left. He hated keepsakes; she knew this._

_Her eyes spotted something on his nightstand; a book. As Elena picked it up, she recognized the title of it because she had seen it sitting in this exact same spot before. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell._

_Without thinking she slipped it into her purse, and turned around to see Stefan leaning in the doorway. _

_"Where is he, Stefan?" Elena asked, her voice coming out croaked and broken. _

_Stefan shakes his head, "I don't know." _

_She looks away from his too-understanding eyes, and towards the empty bed where she once layed, where she had onced kissed Damon's unmoving lips. She remembers once standing in this exact spot, in the middle of this room, yelling at him for keeping Stefan's whereabouts a secret. Now look where they were; this time Stefan was the one here, and Damon was the one missing. It all felt wrong._

_She doesn't know how long they stood there, two people in somebody else's room when really the room no longer belonged to anybody anymore._

_~0~_

Damon tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, contemplating driving off before Elena could come outside. He doesn't know why he ever thought this was a good idea; it must have been because of the alcohol, or maybe it was because he had been spending _way _too much time with her lately. This outing certainly wasn't going to help that.

What was he thinking? He should have never offered to take her anywhere, hell, he should have never come back at all. He wasn't doing anything to help her, she had said that herself. She would have gotten everything under control eventually. Right now, he felt as if he had a one way ticket straight back into Elena's web, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. Everytime he tried to push her away, she pulled him forward harder and he found himself in deeper than he had been before. God dammit, he thought he had this under control.

Elena finally came out of the house, shutting the door behind her and flashing into the passenger seat. Damon almost flinched. Almost.

"I'm still not used to that." Damon murmured, and Elena raised an eyebrow.

He shook his head, starting the car up and pulling out the driveway. "I was thinking we could go to this bar about twenty minutes away, we haven't practiced there yet so it should be fair game-"

"I thought this was a five minutes?" Elena interrupted.

Damon shrugged noncholantly, "We might as well test out your new so called 'control'." Damon said, adding an extra dose of sarcasm to the end of the sentence.

Elena's eyebrows knitted together defensively, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Damon kept himself from smirking, feeling jocund that his antic had hit it's target. "All I'm saying is that this might not be permanent... maybe it only worked because _Stefan _had been there."

Elena's eyes snapped to Damon's blank face, catching the emphasis on Stefan's name. _No, _she wanted to tell him, _it was because you were there. _

Instead, she said "I don't think that was it."

She ignored the scoff the sounded from Damon's mouth and looked towards the road, a small feeling of dissapointment rising inside her. She thought this was going to be about her and Damon spending time together without another agenda, and now that she knew otherwise she couldn't help but feel dissatisfied.

As she crossed her arms over her chest, and stared out the window unblinking, Damon sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, pouty. I'll buy you a drink."

Elena pursed her lips, "Maybe I'm _hungry, _Damon."

"I already said we can practice-"

Elena scoffed, "Not _that _kind of hungry!" she said, exasperated.

"Okay, how was I supposed to know what you meant?" he said, "You complain _way _too much, it's annoying."

"You're annoying."

"You love it,"

"No, I really don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No..."

"Yes.."

"No..."

"No?"

"Yes."

Elena gasped, reaching over to smack his arm. "You tricked me into saying that." she huffed.

Damon smirked, "It's called reverse physcology."

"I know what reverse physcology is..."

~0~

Elena sat down next to Damon at the bar, the familiar smell of cigarretts, beer and human sweat wafting through her nose. The bartender walked over to them, her red curls bouncing. Elena was briefly reminded of Sage.

"What can I get ya'll?" she asked in a strong southern accent, and barely glanced at Elena as her eyes settled on Damon. _Typical._

Elena eyed Damon uneasily as he smiled and leaned forward, ordering a beer smoothly. The waitress asked what she wanted without looking at her.

"Same." she muttered, and scowled as she walked away. Elena glanced at Damon out of the corner of her eye, noticing that he too was watching her walk away, except his eyes were drawn a bit lower. Something that sounded like 'ugh' came out of her mouth.

As she set down their drinks, an idea suddenly struck in her head. "Maybe I should practice on _her._" Elena offered with an air of forced innocence as the red head went to help another customer. Damon eyed her with suspicion, his cerulean orbs knowing as he smirked.

"People would notice her gone." he murmured, taking a swig of his drink.

Damon could easily see that Elena wasn't going to back down, her mind was already set. He knew Elena's jealousy was as easy triggered as a gun, and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy toying with it.

"Plus." he added, "She's way too pretty."

He once again held back his smile as he practically heard the wheels turning in her head, and suddenly she was standing up and heading to the opposite end of the bar where the red headed bartender was at. He saw her lean in and say something, watched as the bartender repeated it back. Elena plopped down back into her seat.

"She's meeting us in the back in five minutes, the other bartender will take her place." she said noncholantly, downing the rest of her beer before standing up and heading towards the backdoor, her hips swinging. Damon watched her go with appreciation forming in his chest.

~0~

"What's your name?" Elena asked, not tearing her eyes away from the compelled girl in front of her. Damon stood behind her, leaning against the wall.

"Sierra." the red head said blankly, and Elena smiled at the comparison.

"You're not going to scream, Sierra. In fact, this isn't even going to hurt at all."

"It won't hurt at all." Sierra repeated, dazed as she looked into Elena's chocolate eyes.

Elena smiled reaasuringly at the girl before letting her face change and leaning forward to close her mouth around Sierra's carotid artery. She drank the smooth blood for a moment until she heard movement behind her, and she forced her mouth away. Still holding the girl by her arm, Elena spun around to face Damon.

He was watching her closely, and it was like the first time all over again. She watched his eyes dart to where Elena's teeth had been on Sierra's neck, and Elena instantly knew what he wanted.

"Drink." she said, pushing the girl forward. Damon seemed to shake his head, taking a step backwards.

"No-" he said, but it already seemed useless because then he was grabbing the girl and Elena watched in slight awe as his face changed and his teeth sunk in where Elena's had been moments ago. She watched intently as he drank and the feeling that had already built inside her blossomed into something way bigger.

After a minute, Damon let go of her and turned to Elena. A fire was raging inside of his eyes that stoked the burn in Elena's abdomen. She watched as his tongue flicked out to lick blood from his lips, and that was the final straw before she was gone.

She's pretty sure that she was the one who leaned in first, the one who grabbed him by the collar like she had fantasized about doing countless times, the one who fixed her lips on his. Her eyes wanted to roll back as she tasted the blood in his mouth, felt the scruff on his face tickle her chin, and she struggled to get closer to him.

Damon, however, remained frozen; eyes remainded open. He kept himself from pulling her closer and stood stoic, and eventually she got the message because she pulled away. Elena wiped the remaining blood off her lips, blood that had probably gotten from his mouth to hers.

They stood there silently for a few moments. Sierra stood behind them, unaware of what was going on before her. Finally, Damon took a deep breath and stepped around Elena, compelling the girl the necessary things before heading in the direction of his car without glancing at her.

~0~

**Hope that wasn't too soon. :) Feel free to review. **

**-Marlie**


	7. Seven

**_Notes: You would not believe how guilty I feel for keeping you waiting, I started this last weekend but 4/20 wore me out and I pretty much slept all weekend, then I finally had the time to finish today. It would have been longer but something went wrong on Word and it deleted half the chapter so I had to write only what I remembered. ANYWAYS, omg Delena kiss was totally amazing! I keep going on my DVR and watching it over and over again, I know it's nerdy but I can't help it. Is anybody else super nervous for the season finale? I'm freaking out. OK so back to the story, there's only about two chapters left to go and then an epilogue. Some things will be explained next chapter, like the whereabouts of some characters and other things. Sorry if there's any mistakes, i was just in such a hurry to get this out. Enjoy. _**

* * *

><p>"I love you."<p>

"And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this"

"I don't deserve you,"

"But my brother does."

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this."

"But you do."

The velvety words were still ringing in Elena's ears as her eyes snapped open, her ragged breathing filling her silent dark room. It took her a moment to remember that it was night time, and she was in her bed; not standing in the middle of her room with the window open and a pair of hands on her shoulders.

Having this particular dream wasn't a surprise; in fact, she hardly ever went a week without having it in some form at least once. At first, she never knew why it seemed so real, why it seemed like a lost memory until she actually discovered that it indeed was. When Elena was first turned, the dream had started out with Damon standing in front of her, lips moving and blue eyes shining, but she never heard any sound come out of him as if cotton was stuffed in her ears. She would watch in hopelessness as a single tear fell down his cheek, wanting to reach out and brush it away but always unable to move her arms. She'd see him lean forward and press his lips to her forehead but never felt the soft brush against her skin. Then, Caroline had mentioned something about her compelled away memories coming back when she was turned and Elena started to wonder if the dream was in fact a memory that Damon had made her forget. But what exactly did Damon want her to forget? She could never hear what he said and it drove her crazy until one day when she was reading through her old diary that she came across a certain day. It was the day that Rose and Trevor had kidnapped her and her words were sloppy and slanted, having been caused by the knowledge that whatever Klaus needed her for was bigger than she expected. While reading the part about her losing her beloved necklace, it hit her. She had lost her necklace, but had it on her that night when she went to bed. Elena's conscience immediately told her that Damon had brought it to her, and with this knowledge the memory came rushing back to her.

Elena never thought to bring it up around Damon and he never offered to. Why should he? Obviously if he compelled her to forget he most certainly wouldn't want to talk about it. But that didn't stop her from thinking of it. And thinking of it. And thinking of it. Some nights it kept her up, some nights it put her to sleep, some nights it gave her comfort. Sometimes she played the _what if _game and wondered what it would be like if he would have made the confession just a little bit later. After the sacrifice, after he was dying, after Stefan left. Before, Elena could only count two times when Damon told her he loved her. The first was on his bed, while he was sweating and confessing. _But I love you, Elena; you should know that. _She was unable to say it back; not because she wasn't thinking it or because she didn't _feel _it, but because she didn't get the chance. Katherine had showed up, looking on with knowing eyes and cat-like smile with the cure in hand. The second time was at the Michealson ball, when he was angry and hurt. _I'm mad at you because I love you! _She had been annoyed at his over-protectivness and Stefan had been standing in the same room. It had been an utterly helpess situation and the weeks that followed had been a game between them called _who can hurt who the most._ But after all this, maybe after Denver but before Klaus showdown, if he had showed up in her room with an earnest expression and selfless intentions, then she thinks without a doubt she would have said it back. Once or twice, while laying in her bed with no one around, she's tested the words on her tongue. _I love you too, Damon. _Once or twice, she wishes he could hear them.

Of course she was in love with him. Although she played the denial game for as long as she could stand it, it seemed as if everyone already knew it. Stefan certainly did, he had always been able to see past the front she put on and it's why she was still partially shocked that he had asked Damon to come back knowing this full and well. Did he really believe in their love enough to think it wouldn't affect her? Obviously it didn't stop her from jumping him in Denver, and then there was the time after that no one knows about except for her and Damon. That had been their first true falling out and he had ignored her for a month after, leading up the time when he unexpectetly showed up at her door and left the next day.

She hadn't seen Damon or Stefan for two days. Damon had dropped her off at her house and sped off and Elena didn't blame him. She had practically shoved him against a wall and licked the blood from his lips. The silence reminded her of the time after Denver, and it really wasn't far from it. On the way home she had asked him to take her home, and hated the knowing smirk that had graced his face. Of course he knew why she didn't want to go to the boarding house, he knew that she didn't want to see Stefan, not after what happened.

Elena didn't know what to do; Stefan had called her and she told him that she was tired, which she highly doubted that he believed. Vampires didn't get tired, they didn't get sick, but she hadn't known what else to tell him. She cringed at the idea of telling him that she kissed his brother(_again)_; she had never told him about the other times, minus the one on the porch. He told her he didn't want to know. Why tell him something that would just hurt him?

She didn't know if this changed things or not. It shouldn't; she should forget all about it. She should tell Damon that it was Katherine that kissed him and not her, should tell him that it never even happened in the first place. But she couldn't. She didn't want to.

With her mind set, she pushed her covers back and walked over to her closet at human pace.

~0~

When Elena entered the boarding house, a small sense of foreboding crept up on her and she dutifully let her ears perk up to listen for any strange sounds. All should could was the washer and dryer running, things being moved around and a tv playing. When she recognzed the familiar theme song of _How I Met Your Mother _she rolled her eyes at Stefan's choice in television.

She started up the stairs but stopped when she got to the top. She could go right; right would lead her to Stefan's room. She could go lay in bed with him and watch tv and pretend everything was alright. Or she could go left and do what she came here for.

Elena's feet seemed to think the latter was better, because soon she standing in front of Damon's cracked door. Her ears discerned that the moving around was coming from his room and she pushed his door open hesitantly, then froze at what she saw.

A dreaded black duffel bag was sitting on Damon's bed, with Damon digging through his sock drawer, appearing like he was playing some sort of game of basketball except with pairs of socks going into the suitcase.

"What are you doing?" she asked slowly, her voice sounding confused although her mind was shouting _i told you so _at her.

"What does it look like?" he asked, slightly jeeringingly. Elena frowned, eyeing him with bewilderment.

Damon walked to his closet, barely looking at her as he took down shirts from their hangers and folded them with care before stuffing them into the bag. He looked up at her finally before continuing.

"Don't look at me like that." he said smoothly, his blue eyes set on his task. "You knew I wouldn't stay here forever."

Elena blinked slowly, processing his words. Is this how the conversation would have gone four years ago if she had caught him before he left? Would he have pointed out that he wouldn't have stayed to watch her be with his brother forever? What would she have said to him then? What should she say to him now? She remembered the night at the Grill, when they were in the car and she vowed to herself internally that she wouldn't let him leave again. No... she wouldn't. She could still think of a way.

Elena took a deep breath, and thought of the first tactic that had a chance. "What about my control... I don't think I can-"

"Your control is fine, Elena. You don't need me here anymore." He interrupted, his voice slightly softer.

"I always need you." she replied without thinking, her voice small.

A sigh broke through the air, wary and tired. "Don't." he said shortly before contuing to rummage in his closet, his back facing her.

Elena's feet once again moved of their own accord and she stopped behind him.

"Don't leave." she paused, "Nobody wants you to leave."

"That's exactly why I should." he replied flippantly, and the wheels in her head turned, thinking of ways that could buy her a few more days to figure this out.

"At least let Caroline throw you a goodbye party, you know she loves any excuse for a party." She said, forcing a teasing tone to her voice when all she really wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and make him swear to never leave her.

"You mean she wants any excuse to say bye to me." he replied immediately, and Elena almost smiled at his bantering tone, but her light mood immediately dissapeared when he continued, "I think it'd be for the best if I left tonight."

Elena narrowed her eyes, "It'd be easier that way, wouldn't it? Because if you realized how much people care about you here then you'd have something worth staying for." she said. Damon sighed heavily and turned around, eyeing her with contempt. "_Don't." _he repeated, his voice harder. As he went to walk past her, Elena's hand reached out a grabbed his arm. He obviously wasn't making this easy, and she only had one idea left that she wasn't sure still worked but had to try nonetheless.

"Please, stay for a few days. Just- I can't say bye to you tonight. _Please, _Damon?" she asked slowly, voice bordering on begging as her eyes bore into his. She wanted to sigh in relief as she saw his eyes soften, saw them soften into something so familiar that she wanted to cry out in joy. She was so accustomed to _this _Damon that for a moment she felt as if she was 5 years back in time, when she was asking Damon for the device that Isobel wanted and he had handed it over without hesitation.

As soon as she heard his soft sigh, she knew what he was about to say before he said it.

"Fine."

~0~

_**:) Please let me know what you think.**_

_**-Marlie**_


	8. Eight

_4 years ago_

_Elena pushed the door open, her anger going through her hands and causing the poor wooden door to hit the wall behind it. As she stepped inside his room, her anger boiled over at seeing him standing there so nonchalant and detached. _

_"I can't believe you." Elena hissed, glaring at his uncaring expression. "Actually, I can. This is the exact kind of thing _you _would do." she continued, walking up to him where he sat on his bed, nursing an ever-present glass of amber liquid. She had a sudden urge to push it down on the floor, just to try and get some sort of reaction out of him other than this indifferent attitude that she was sick of seeing._

_But he didn't. Instead, he rolled his eyes slightly at her tone and looked straight forward to avoid her eyes, a thing he had been doing since Denver. "And what is it exactly that I did?" Damon asked, raising an eyebrow at the wall behind her. Elena's hands itched to turn his face towards hers._

_"You sent Caroline to Klaus." She accused, narrowing his eyes at his lack of response. "As bait." _

_"And?" _

_"And he could have killed her! He almost did-"_

_"He wouldn't of killed her, Elena. You really think I would have sent her to the Addams Family house without knowing that?" he said, his tone still blank as he got up to refill his drink. Elena shook her head, ignoring his jab and continuing._

_"It's Klaus, Damon. Klaus. Do you really think he cares-"_

_"Well, apparently he does. Because she came back unscathed." he pointed out, staring down at his drink instead of her fire-blazing eyes. _

_"But-"_

_"Okay, stop. We both know what you're trying to do here." He said, interrupting her again and crossing his arms. Elena blinked, and took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was lower._

_"I don't know what you're talking about." She said calmly, raising her chin deftly._

_He cocked his head to one side, observing her while his eyes glowed sapphire under the dimmed lights. "You're trying to find something to be mad at me about." he said, "Don't try and deny it." he added when she opened her mouth to protest. _

_"It's not-" she sighed, "That's not what I was trying to do." It was only half a lie. But a part of her was sick to death of him ignoring her and avoiding her eyes. Ever since she kissed him that faithful night in Denver, he had been treating her like a pariah. Damon hadn't been lying when he said he wasn't going to do anything to screw up, but he wasn't _doing _anything at all. He hardly ever showed any reaction to her presence at all anymore and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't trying to get one._

_"No?" he jeered, setting his drink down and walking up to her. "I'm sure you're not just _dying _for me to screw up. That'll make it easier for you, won't it?" he murmured as if reading her thoughts. However, she barely registered his words because she was too busy noticing the fact that he didn't stop walking until he was inches away from her. He practically radiated the smell of bourbon, and Elena sighed knowingly._

_"You're drunk, Damon." she softly chided, noting that his expression had changed from indifferent to mocking and his eyes were burning._

_"'Your drunk, Damon'" he mimicked, attempting to take on her tone. Elena narrowed her eyes at his childish behavior and eyed the door behind him._

_"I'm not doing this with you right now. Come talk to me when you're sober." She said before going to walk around him. He caught her arm before she could get away and pulled her to him._

_"You're the one who came barging in here picking for a fight." he said, stepping closer to her so Elena had to look up to see his face, which was always a telltale sign that they were too close. With the matter of Caroline and Klaus forgotten completely, he brought his hands up to cup her face and Elena knew this was no longer about anything other than them._

_"I want to know the truth." he started, locking his eyes with her and if Elena hadn't known different she would have thought he was trying to compel her. "Why'd you kiss me that night?" _

_"You already know why." She said softly, reaching up the put her hands over his, ready to pull them away. But instead she rested them there, same as the night on her porch. She didn't realize that this might have some sort of hint at what was coming next._

_She hardly heard what he said back. All she remembers is that he pressed his lips to hers and she struggled to pull away. But he kept a firm grip on her and soon all her struggling turned to pulling him closer. Their tongues touched for the third time and she once again got lost in the feel and taste of him. A wild, excited feeling passed through her and her hands knotted in his raven hair, mouth consuming his._

_At some point, his hands had pushed her shirt up slightly and the cold metal of his belt buckle snapped her out of the haze, and she jumped away as if she had been electrocuted. She stood, panting slightly and avoiding his eyes. _

_The sound of the door opening and closing downstairs broke the silence, and Elena immediately headed for the door. "We- We'll talk about this later." she stuttered, looking back at him one more time before closing the door behind her._

...

But they never had talked about it. The next time she saw him, he was as indifferent and suave as ever and had pretended that nothing had happened. Now that she thinks of it, they had practically pretended that none of those kisses had happened at all. Maybe it was some unspoken rule between them, some law that couldn't be broken. A law that forbaid them from talking feelings between one another, and now that Elena really thinks about it, they never really had. Of course he had said he loved her multiple times, but that was something she had known for a long time and although hearing it still shocked her, it wasn't that big of a surprise if she thought about it. But he had left before any real conversation could go down between them and in a way that Elena was unaware of, she was slightly thankful for it. Slightly.

Because the feelings that he caused to spring up inside her still confused her as all hell. She had never felt such need for one person, but such resistance and passion at the same time. Stefan made her thankful to be alive, but Damon gave her a reason to be alive.

Elena shook the thoughts away when her phone started buzzing on the passenger seat next to her. She was sitting in her car in front of the boarding house, lost in thought and making sure that Damon didn't sneak out. For some unknown reason, he was probably hell bent on leaving without a goodbye. He had once told her he didn't do goodbyes well.

"Caroline, hey. Thanks for calling me back." she greeted as she listened to her friend's chatter on the other line. She let her prattle for a few minutes about the latest drama before interrupting.

"and then Tyler was all like-"

"I need a favor, Care." she said, pausing. "How do you feel about a little party?"

...

Damon's scowl deepened as he glanced out his window and noticed Elena's car parked in the driveway, with Elena in it. She was probably hanging around to make sure he didn't stage a prison break. And really, that was exactly what he had planned on doing.

He didn't understand why she practically begged him to stay another 48 hours. Because seriously, what good would it do? He was leaving one way or the other and two days wasn't going to make a difference. Except maybe it would.

When his phone started vibrating from the nightstand, he flashed over to it and checked the caller id, only to roll his eyes. He contemplated dodging the call but decided he needed a distraction and put it to his ear.

"Barbie Klaus." he greeted, half sarcastic and half wondering why the Original was calling him. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Damon." she paused, her lilting voice casual. "I'm bored. Let's meet up."

Damon scoffed. "Last time you said that you brought your brother with you and he stabbed me with a wooden spoon."

"Kol was merely repaying you for killing our brother. Again." she sighed, sounding weary. "And anyways, I ditched him in Seattle. He was being a little too... ostentatious for my liking."

"Well, _Bekah." _he jeered, "As much as I'd love for some Original fun right now, I'm a bit tied up at the moment."

Rebekah was quiet for a moment, then started snickering. "You're in Mystic, aren't you? How typically you, Damon."

"I'm leaving in a few days, I'll call you back then." he said, ignoring her retort and ready to hang up.

"Well maybe I'll drop by... I'm in Florida and then we can leave together." She said smoothly, voice teasing.

"You shouldn't-"

"I'll see you soon, Damon!" she exclaimed, her voice taking on a childish tone before hanging up. Damon sighed warily before letting his phone drop on his bed and going to look out the window again. That's just great, Damon thought irratibly. Over the past four years, Damon had met up with Rebekah a few times. Things would be fine when it was just him and her, but once she had brought Kol with her and Damon would have probably been dead if Rebekah hadn't intervened. That's when he figured that hanging out with Originals wasn't the smartest idea and sooner or later he'd probably end up like Scary Mary. They hadn't talked since then and leave it to the blonde Original to pick the perfect timing when she wanted to see him again.

There wasn't much he could do. If Rebekah wanted to come to Mystic Falls, he couldn't stop her. But as he looked out the window and studied Elena sitting in her car and talking on the phone, he couldn't help but think this wasn't going to go well.

~0~

_**Notes: Sincerely sorry for the delay, but it's been the last few weeks of school and I've had a ton of work to do. I have finals on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then it's summer and I'll finish the story. Promise. There are about two chapters left and a epiloque. This is kind of a filler chapter and I decided to bring Rebekah in it because I love her. Super depressed about the finale, and I'm very sorry to say this but I don't think I'll stick around for Season 4. I just don't have the heart for it. And just a reminder: I started this before the season ended and what happened in the season finale didn't happen in this. I realize that I probably should have finished this before because it might not make much sense, but there's not much I can do. Anyways, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!**_

_**-Marlie**_


	9. Nine

"-_Seriously, _Stefan. What is this about?" Damon mumbled, not nearly drunk enough as his brother poured him another shot. It was about the fifth time he had asked the question, but instead of coming up with some vaque answer, Stefan ignored him altogether and checked his phone again."And why do you keep checking your phone? Who are sexting?"

Stefan narrowed his eyes and looked up at Damon, ready to retort back when his phone buzzed suddenly. He texted quickly on it before turning back to Damon and muttering a "Let's go." and started to lead the way out of the Grill.

"So you drag me here, pour me shots for thirty minutes but refuse to take one yourself all the while mysteriously texting on your phone and now you want to leave. Yep, not suspicious at all." Damon quipped as they slid into his car.

"Is it so bad that I want to spend time with you before you leave?" Stefan asked smoothly, looking out the window.

"Yes." Damon replied shortly, ignoring Stefan's eye roll. As they drove in the direction of the boarding house, Damon procastinated in telling his brother about the blonde bombshell that would surely show up pretty soon.

"So our favorite blonde Original might be stopping by." Damon started quickly, sneaking a look at Stefan out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" Stefan asked slowly as the car passed through town.

"She probably just wants to stir up some trouble. But don't worry, she's leaving with me. I'll make sure of it." he assured quickly, weary of Stefan's scrunched eyebrows and pensive expression. "I just thought you should know."

Stefan was silent for a moment before sighing. "Why are you even still talking to her?" he asked finally as Damon pulled the car up to the boarding house driveway. As he turned the ignition off, he noticed Caroline's car parked on the side, hidden by the shadows.

Ignoring Stefan's question, he groaned internally and got out the car to head towards the door. Stefan fell into step beside him and seemed to be greatly amused by something, which caused Damon to send him a glare. "What are you up to?" he asked.

Stefan grinned, "Lets just say you'll need alot more drinks tonight." he murmured before opening the door. As they stepped into the darkened foyer, the lights suddenly snapped on and a number of people that Damon didn't know jumped out and yelled "Surprise!"

Caroline was standing in the front with an perky smile on her face that reminded Damon of seeing her at cheerleading practice years ago. He stood, half annoyed and half weary as she jumped forward and grabbed his arm. "It's your surprise-goodbye party! Surprised?" she asked, all bouncy curls and white teeth.

Damon blinked, looking around at the people who were standing and drinking his alcohol. "No." he answered calmly. The short answer wiped the smile clean off Caroline's face and she half glared at him.

"He's kidding, Caroline. Of course he's surprised." Elena said, coming up behind her. She shot Damon a look who shrugged in response and gently slipped his arm out of Caroline's hand. He noticed the werewolf standing some disance away, glaring at him.

"You know what, Damon? I'm not even _surprised_ that you're not surprised." Caroline started, going on when he raised an eyebrow. "You never did appreciate anything I did for you and-"

"Okay, I need a drink." he interrupted and pushed through both of them to find a bottle of bourbon. A wave of deja vu hit him as he grabbed one of his best bottles from some girl and continued walking, not stopping until was at the bottom of the staircase. As he was about to start climbing the stairs by two, someone reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Damon, where are you going?" It was Elena. He turned to look at her and sighed when he took in her hurt puppy dog expression.

"I'm just going to... change." he lied.

Elena glared at him and dragged him away from the stairs until they were in the almost empty library. He struggled to hide his impressed expression when she pushed him forefully down on the couch and took the bottle away from him.

"The least you can let me do is throw you a goodbye party." she half hissed at him as she poured them both drinks in the cut crystal glasses.

He took the glass from her and quirked up an eyebrow. "I don't even know half these people, Elena. Where did Blondie find this many people at, anyways?"

She pressed her lips together to refrain from smiling. "We just told everyone it was your goodbye party and they rushed over."

"Ha ha."

They were both quiet for a moment, each staring off into different spaces. If not for the sounds of clinking glasses and chatter, then it would have been completely silent. Elena stared at him out of the corner of his eye, unknowingly trying to memorize his features. His dark eyebrows were drawn together in a contemplative manner as he studied the amber liquid below him. There was a piece of stray black hair in his face and she had a sudden urge to push it back so she could see his eyes better. Suddenly, the snapped to her face and caught her looking at him and Elena looked away quickly. If she was human, surely her cheeks would be flaming by now.

"...Elena?" came a familiar voice in the hallway, and a head with curly black hair popped in the door.

"Bonnie, you made it!" Elena exclaimed, thankful for the interruption as she flashed over to her best friend's side. Bonnie had been going to college at Virginia Tech for about two years and Elena hadn't seen her since before she was turned. She had conveniently fed-exed a day-light ring for her; taking Stefan's word that Elena was in control.

When they hugged, the witch froze for a second after contact and then shook her head. "Just not used to it." she mumbled, looking Elena up and down before grinning. "It's so good to see you. How are you handling things?" she asked sympathetically.

Elena grimaced, "It was tough at first. But Damon... he helped me alot." She added at the end, shooting the slightly uncomfortable vampire an unreadable look. Bonnie, who noticed Damon for the first time, looked shocked for a moment before smiling slightly.

"Hey, Damon. I didn't know you were even back until Elena told me you guys were having a goodbye party." she said slowly.

Damon smirked and leaned back on the couch, "Yea, well. It was a surprise on both parts."

Bonnie shrugged and all fell into a slightly awkward silence. She looked in between the two vampires and mumbled something about them catching up later and that she was going to find Matt. When she left the room, Elena walked over to sit back next to him.

"She's still thankful about you saving her life, you know." Elena started after a moment. When he gave her a dubious expression, she said "No, really. She would probably be dead if you hadn't of jumped in front of her." she finished, brown eyes glowing slightly as she looked at him with appreciation.

Damon scoffed, "I tried to kill her once and then I turned her mom. I was just evening the score up." he said, popping out the 'p' in up. Elena smiled slightly at his modesty and leaned on him casually so that their arms were brushing. As they fell into another more comfortable silence, Elena contemplated how best to breach the subject on her mind.

"So... where were you?" she started, looking up from under her eyelashes. "I mean- what did you go when you left?"

Damon was silent for a moment, contemplating answering her question. "You know, here and there." he answered shortly, and Elena narrowed her eyes at his vagueness.

"Really, Damon. I want to know what you've been doing, it's got to be more exciting than being stuck in Mystic Falls." she stated sarcastically.

"You're not stuck in Mystic Falls, you can leave anytime you want." Damon pointed out, and Elena shook her head stubbornly.

"Don't change the subject."

Damon sighed dramatically, as if it was killing him to betray such answers before giving in and opening his mouth. "Fine. After I left I went to New York for a few weeks."

Elena smiled, internally imagining him walking through bustling crowds of people in the New York she had seen on TV and movies. "Why New York?"

He shrugged, "New York was as different as you could possibly get from Mystic Falls. I needed different." he finished, azure eyes far away as if he was in another time. Elena grimaced at the last line and beckoned him on.

"Eventually I got sick of all the ignorant people and traffic, so I went Europe for awhile. I met the oddest couple in Verona; they were sitting outside Juliet's tomb. The guy was a vampire and the woman was a werewolf and they were in love. I hung out with them for a few weeks." he paused. "But I think I might have scared the vampire away with my tales of werewolf bites."

Elena rolled her eyes and ignored the last line. "Kind of like Caroline and Tyler."

Damon grimaced and looked away, hesitating. Finally, he continued. "Then I went to Brazil and have been there since... well, a month ago." he finished shortly, the tone of his voice indicating the end. Elena narrowed an eyebrow, sensing that he was leaving out a part but resisted asking him. He seemed to be in a good mood and she didn't want say anything to upset him, so she kept her mouth shut.

Silence fell over them again as they both drifted into their own thoughts. Elena was at lost. She knew she couldn't outright ask him to stay; no, that would be too selfish. _I can't be selfish with you, _something whispered inside her mind. But she couldn't imagine letting him go again, she already had to once against her will, and she didn't know if she could bear doing it again.

Her thoughts were broken when both their vampire hearing picked up on Caroline's voice in the foyer, confused and wary. "_What are you doing here?" _

Elena got up to go investigate, narrowing her eyes when Damon sat still with a grim and knowing expression on his face. Before she could leave the room to see for herself, however, a very familiar person appeared in the doorway and Elena's eyes widened. Rebekah walked straight into the library, breezing past Elena gracefully until she was standing in front of Damon, whom she immediately slipped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek like they were old lovers. Damon patted her back uncomfortably as Elena stared at them, a thousand different emotions churning in her gut.

~0~

_**Notes: Some brother bonding, some Delena fluff, some Rebekah... wow this story's got everything. Jk. Update within two days, surprised? I've been in a writing mood lately. Enough small talk. This story is kind of reflecting my dislike for Elena, I'm sure some of you can see it but I hope it's not too obvious. Right now, Elena isn't even contemplating leaving Stefan for Damon yet, so don't expect a direct 'Damon-and-Elena-skip-off-into-the-sunset-to-go-travel-the-world-together' ending. I've already got the last chapter planned and it's not the happiest ever. But thats just the last chapter and there will still be an epilogue, so don't cry yet. ANyways, thank you for all the lovely reviews and story alerts and favorited stories and authors. Very much appreciated. **_

_**Reviews are amazing.**_

_**-Marlie**_


	10. Ten

_**A/N: Welcome to the second to last chapter. This took me forever to write, but I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out so I hope you guys are too. Technically, this is the last chapter. I tried to think of a happy ending for it but I couldn't, especially because of how Season 3 ended and I knew this had to happen. But it's not the end yet. Thanks for all the lovely reviews and enjoy.**_

_**~0~**_

Elena watched slowly as her knuckles turned white against the clear glass she was holding and loosened her grip before it could explode. The urge to use her sensitive hearing dropped and her traiter ears betrayed her as she picked up on Damon and Rebekah talking upstairs.

_"You couldn't wait one day-"_

_"I could have, but what's the fun in that?" Rebekah asked._

_"Look, Bekah-"_

Elena scowled at the nickname.

_"- I didn't come back to start trouble. I came because Stefan asked me to help Elena-"_

_"Right, because I'm sure you're only doing this because Stefan asked you."_

_"It doesn't matter why."_

_"If it doesn't matter, then let's leave tonight."_

_"I can't."_

_"That's what I thought. I knew as soon as you stepped foot back here again that you wouldn't leave."_

_"I am leaving. Tomorrow night."_

_"I'll believe it when I see it."_

_"Fine."_

_"Well I don't know about you, but I'm going to go have a little fun."_

_"Rebekah-"_

_"You better get back to your party, Damon."_

Rebekah's footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, and a moment later she appeared in the doorway, all long blonde hair and designer clothes. She gave Elena a pretty smile and walked into the library where Elena was sitting.

"So I heard you've been having control issues." she murmured smoothly.

Elena grimaced and narrowed her eyes, "Who told you that?" she asked although the answer was blantantly obvious.

"Who do you think?" the blonde scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"So you guys are like... friends or something?" Elena asked unwillingly, suddenly finding her fingernails very interesting. She saw Rebekah smirk knowingly out of the corner of her eye.

"Or something." she said shortly at first, and then noticed Elena's facial expression and saw an opportunity. "We see each other off and on, although I think my brother scared him away last time."

"Elijah?" Elena asked, interest suddenly piqued. Elena and the Original had been corresponding through letters ever since Klaus died and he had left town. He knew through her letters that Damon had gone and also knew how Elena felt about it; the only person who really did. As far as she knew, he was in the Middle East.

"No, Kol actually."

Elena nodded slowly, having only met that brother twice. Rebekah continued, "Me and Damon are alot alike. Both impulsive, both have family issues." she spoke as if they were old girlfriends, discussing boys over ice cream and nail polish.

A scoff escaped Elena's mouth before she could help it and Rebekah's smile widened, slightly predatorily. "Oh, Elena. It looks as if you still have the same problem going that you had four years ago." she noted casually.

"And what is that?" She asked without taking her eyes off of the blonde.

Rebekah smiled, "You and your Salvatore brothers. You're committed to one, yet you long after the other. I'm sure if it were reversed, you'd still be stuck in the same situation."

Elena glowered slightly at her, and uncomfortable feeling sprouting up inside her that inevitably happened whenever some brave soul would comment on her thing with the two brothers. "You don't know what you're talking about."

She shrugged, "I guess it doesn't matter. Damon's leaving tomorrow and you get to stay here in Mystic Falls with the better, safer brother." she turned on her heel and walked towards the door, "Goodbye, Elena." she added before weaving in and out of people and dissapearing.

Elena watched her go, ticked off and aggravated at Rebekah's conclusions and piteous words. Envy bloomed inside of her like a flower suddenly sprouting up after a long storm and she sprang up off the couch and in direction of the stairs, taking them by two and barely restraining herself from speeding up. Before she knew it, her hands were pushing Damon's door open and she was glaring at him from where he was crouched, digging through a box.

"Why is she here, Damon?" she hissed, pressing her lips together to keep from screaming the words at him.

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific, _Elena."_ he repeated.

Elena glowered at him. "_Rebekah." _she ground out.

He sighed, almost wearily and looked up at her, smirking. "She heard that there was a party and-"

"Seriously, Damon." she interrupted.

"Well, Elena. She kind of just invited herself over and I couldn't really stop her. I mean, she is like a million years older than me."

Elena shook her head, scoffing and running her hand through her long hair. "I don't get it, Damon. She tortued you; she hooked you up with animal traps and carved your skin with a knife. How can you just forget all of that?"

Damon shrugged casually, abandoning the box and laying back on his bed with his tumbler sitting on his chest. "I did alot of shit to you and you forgot all about it."

"It's different." Elena said slowly.

He looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow up "How?"

"You never physically hurt me." she murmured, voice losing it's hard edge. "And I didn't forget about it. I just forgave."

"Right." he sighed, running a hand over his face and looked around his bed. "The whole deathbed, kissy thing. How could I forget?"

Elena didn't reply, just stared at him silently. He was laying on his back, eyes feebly watching the ceiling fan spin around. His long arms were behind his head and pieces of inky black hair fell onto his face; looking at him, Elena realized how tired he looked.

After a countless number of moments, Elena finally sighed, the fight leaving her as she watched him. "You should come back downstairs."

He smiled uselessly, "Nah. I have... packing to do."

She blinked and shook her head, softness being replaced by irritation and something else. "Fine. I'll just kick everyone out." she spouted before turning on her heel and leaving.

* * *

><p>She stayed true to her word and did kick everyone out, with the help of Caroline. After she had pushed the last person out the door, and almost laughed at the idea of throwing Damon a surprise party and wondered what she had been thinking.<p>

"Well, it was fun while it lasted." Caroline noted as she slipped her jacket on and headed towards the door where Tyler waited. "Are you sure you don't want help cleaning up?"

"I've got it, Care. But thanks." Elena replied, smiling gratefully at her friend and saying goodbye. When the door shut, Elena turned back around towards the foyer and couldn't help but think about what a disaster the night had turned out to be. One of her worst nightmares had showed up and Damon had ditched his own party. The purpose of the party was so she could somehow convince Damon to stay, and so far she hadn't even been able to take one step in the right direction. What had she even been planning to say to him? Elena couldn't remember now, couldn't remember if she ever had a plan in the first place. Had she thought that a whole bunch of people that he didn't know would help show him that he didn't want to leave? She felt helpess. He was leaving with promise of foreign countries and beautiful girls. What could she possibly offer him here?

"Hey." Stefan said, walking into the room and noting Elena's facial expression. "You look concentrated."

Elena offered him a smile. "Just trying to figure out how to get that punch stain out of the rug." she lied.

"Are you sure it's punch?" he asked, and Elena chuckled. They both fell silent and Elena could see something struggling behind Stefan's olive eyes silently. She walked to sit on the bottom step and raised an eyebrow at him, silently telling him to purge.

"Look," he starting, sighing unwillingly and looking away. "I know that... over the years, you've missed him." he didn't bother saying the name, they both knew who he was talking about. "After he left, there was always something different about you; something in your eyes that was off. I chalked it off as being you losing another person."

"Stefan..." Elena sighed, knowing exactly where the conversation was leading.

"I knew I was taking a risk when I called him. I knew when he came back here that you guys would get close again, but I knew I couldn't stop it." he paused, and turned to look at her intently before finishing. "But I have to know." he seemed to struggle for a moment. "Do you still... have a thing for him?"

_A thing. _Elena wanted to laugh at the reference because it was so true. That's what Elena had always internally called the _thing _between her and Damon; because she was always unwilling to admit that it was anything else and truthfully, she didn't know what else to call it. The undeniable attraction, burning looks, snarky conversations, and plain passion that occured in their dynamic was a thing all on it's own.

She realized that all the while she had been thinking Stefan had been waiting for an answer, which turned automatically into an answer by itself. He sighed slowly and looked away, and deja vu hit Elena so strong that for a moment she was disoriented and her mind conjured up a similar conversation four years ago. _Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel something for him_. Elena hadn't been able to and Stefan had sighed the same exact way.

"I always knew, you know." he said quietly after a moment. "I always knew that things were bigger between you and him than you ever let me see. Whenever you would stare off into space, I knew you were thinking of him. And it killed me, it still kills me." he finished, knitting his eyebrows together.

Elena sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and running a hand down her face. "I'm sorry, Stefan." she said sincerely. "I'm sorry that I feel this way and you feel this way. I wish we didn't have to." she took a deep breath, " So I'm going to be honest with you. I love you, Stefan. So much. But... I won't ever be one hundred percent committed to you. I wish I could be. This _thing _between me and Damon-" she paused when Stefan flinched. "It's never going to go away. No matter how long he leaves for or how long he stays here."

Elena bit her lip before finishing, "And I don't want him to leave. It feels like it will kill me if he leaves again... but that's the thing; he is leaving. I thought I could convince him to stay, but I can't. Because... I love you. I'll always love you." she said softly, trying to will away the tears that were springing up in her eyes. She looked down at the floor, the large stain of red that was either punch or blood blurring in her vision.

She felt fingers tip her chin up and looked into the comforting green eyes that were suddenly the wrong color. "Don't decide now. I don't want you to regret it later." he said softly, "Just... go talk to him, hang out with him. If he's leaving tomorrow, then you need to spend time with him. Alone." he added and leaned in the kiss her on the forehead before stepping back and walking towards the door. Elena watched him dissapear into the night numbly and stood up to look up the staircase, the steps suddenly seeming like one of those never ending staircases that would inevitably lead to your fate. Then she remembered that the same vampire that was the exact cause of all her stress was still sitting upstairs and may or may not have been listening for the past ten minutes.

~0~

When Elena had finally managed the courage to let herself into Damon's room, she found him in the exact same position then when she had left. She almost would have thought he hadn't moved since except there was a stuffed black duffel bag zipped up by his bed and the TV was on. She felt a little better knowing that he might of been too distracted by The Office to listen to her and Stefan's conversation.

"Where's Rebekah?" she asked, sighing as she shut his door behind her.

Damon watched her movements warily as she walked towards his bed and sat on the end. "Probably being a bitch somewhere else." he murmured silkily, taking a sip from the glass of blood he was holding. Elena's eyes were drawn to the sides where the thick red liquid dripped down the sides of the glass lazily, and Damon knowingly offered her the glass.

"Thanks." she muttered and downed the glass in one gulp. Damon raised an eyebrow, half annoyed and half amused as he took the glass back and set it down on the nightstand. When he turned back, he found Elena staring at him intently, the way she had been all night. She didn't look away this time and after a moment she leaned in slowly. "You have-" she started, but didn't finish as she reached a finger out and wiped away a dot of blood that was on the bottom of his lip.

"How cliché." Damon noted quietly, his voice lacking the sarcasm that was supposed to be included in the line.

Elena ignored him and leaned in further, "You're leaving tomorrow."

Damon quirked a side of his mouth up into a half smile, half grimace. "I know." he said simply.

They met half way. Once their lips touched, Elena sighed and sunk herself into him, whimpering when his velvet tongue went into her mouth. She buried her fingers into his hair and Damon rolled them over so that Elena was on top. She could taste the blood in his mouth, mixed heavily with bourbon or whiskey or whatever he had been drinking all night. Her fingers worked deftly on the buttons of his shirt and soon she was running her hands down his chest eagerly, his groan causing a tight feeling to unfurl in her stomach. Suddenly, he sat up to pull her closer against him.

Damon's lips moved to her neck and she trembled while he placed wet, open-mouthed kissed on her heated skin. She yanked on his hair to bring his lips back to hers and she kissed him slowly, almost lazily. The only light in the room was the glare of the television as it flickered obliviously over their combined forms.

"Really?" a lilting voice came from the doorway. Damon and Elena pulled apart and moved to opposite sides of the bed when they saw Rebekah, her platinum hair gleaming in the dark as she leaned in the doorway, watching them with a knowing glint in her eye.

"Go away." Damon half groaned, crystal eyes glaring daggers.

"I could, but I'm sensing that the mood is already ruined." Rebekah noted, studying Elena's facial expression.

"So this is why you wanted to stay tonight? Goodbye sex with your brother's girl?" Rebekah proclaimed.

"It's not-" Elena started, but was interrupted.

"You don't have to deny anything to me, Elena. I don't really care what you guys do." She started smoothly and examined her nails nonchalantly. "However, I forgot how boring this town was and I just want to make sure that Damon is still planning on leaving with me tomorrow."

"Leaving... with you?" Elena asked slowly, her eyebrows knitting together.

Rebekah scoffed, "You didn't think I was here visiting you?"

Elena narrowed her eyes and looked back at Damon, who was sitting with his back against the headboard and still glaring at Rebekah unblinkingly. She suddenly huffed and got off the bed, "I can't believe you." she started at him.

"What?" Damon asked nonchalantly, clearly not understanding her problem.

"That's probably my cue." Rebekah chimed from the doorway, "I'll be... anywhere else."

After Rebekah flounced off, Elena turned towards Damon with her fists clenched. "So that's why she's here? You're leaving together?"

"I don't get what the big deal is." Damon drawled as looked at her, "It's not like I'm in a... committed relationship." he defended.

"You knew you were leaving with her; and yet you..." she trailed off, implicating what she couldn't say.

"Yet I what Elena? We made out; it's not the first time it's happened." he said as he stood up from the bed and walked over to her. "The only reason you came up here in the first place was because Stefan gave you permission."

Elena blinked and flushed, shaking her head. "You had no right-"

"It's not my fault you guys are stupid enough to talk about me when I'm in the same house." he jeered, crossing his arms in front of him. He stepped closer to her "'_I love you, Stefan. I'll always love you.'_" he mimicked in a fake school girl voice.

Elena grounded her teeth together and ignored the angry tears that were falling down her cheeks as she pushed on his chest and he stumbled back, chuckling. He continued, too amused to stop. "'_But this thing between me and Damon... it's just so _hard."

"I hate you." Elena hissed, because really she didn't know what else to say and that wasn't even what she had said. The smirk on Damon's face was so knowing and entirely too beautiful and Elena reached out and pushed him again, this time sending him flying across the room. He hit the wall with a thud and for a moment he looked shocked, and then his eyes flashed and he sped over to her, pulling her back against his chest tightly as she struggled, strength no match for his. His arms wrapped around her flailing limbs almost painfully and she suddenly stopped moving when she felt his bare chest press flush against her.

He leaned in and Elena desperately wished that she could be disgusted and hateful and definitely not frightened and turned on. His lips grazed the outside of her ear as Elena breathed heavily. "Don't ever do that again." he murmured lowly, his voice calm but deadly.

Their eyes locked and for a moment, Elena thought he was going to kiss her again. But then he softly let go of her and backed off, turning around so he facing the other way.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning, whether if I'm by myself or I'm with Barbie Klaus or _Tyler Lockwood. _It doesn't matter, as long as I'm away from here."

Elena flinched, his words like a bucket of ice water thrown on her. It was moments later when she finally found her voice, "Fine." was all she was able to croak out.

"Goodbye, Elena." he sighed softly, hinting the end. He turned around and looked at her once more, eyes that she had never been able to name a color for unreadable. Her eyes ran over him once more; his unbottoned black shirt hanging carelessly over his perfect chest and up to the planes of his face where the midnight hair fell over his forehead, matching the scruff around his red lips.

"Bye." she croaked out, the short word sounding like _i'm sorry _and_ i love you _and_ i'll miss you _to her.

She doesn't know how her feet carried her to the door, but suddenly she was in the hallway and his door was shut behind her and she couldn't help but start running as fast as she possibly could, still tasting him on her lips and feeling his breath on her ear all the while.

~0~

_Please let me know what you think. Critism welcome._


	11. Eleven

_**A/N: This is not the epiloque. It's the last chapter. The chapter before this was going to be the last but I came up with this and thought it was better. The next chapter will be the epiloque. This is by far my favorite chapter and I hope you guys like it too. Enjoy:)**_

* * *

><p>Elena hesitantly pushed the door to the Grill open and slowly stepped inside the crowded restaurant, eyes searching for Caroline's blonde head or Bonnie's black one. The bar buzzed with people, product of the high school's game and it being Saturday night. The sound of thick, pumping heartbeats and blood flowing through veins surrounded Elena, and her mouth watered. For the first time in weeks, bloodlust overwhelmed her and she found herself struggling to keep her eyes from changing and veins protruding.<p>

"There she is." Bonnie pointed out Elena from where her and Caroline sat in the back. Instead of immediately calling her over, Caroline rolled her eyes at Elena's facial expression.

"She is so mopey lately." Caroline said, and Bonnie turned to look.

"Cue the Damon-withdrawals." Bonnie noted, swirling her margarita with a straw.

Caroline scoffed, "Duh." she paused when Elena finally spotted them and started over. "It took me forever to convince her to come out tonight. All she wanted to do was lay in her bed and sleep."

Elena pulled back a chair and sat down gracefully, shooting her friends a small smile, which really came out as a grimace. Bonnie and Caroline exchanged a glance and Caroline started up a conversation about a high school football game years back. Elena tried to listen at first, but after a moment it became apparent that it was impossible to pay attention and she let her eyes wander around, stopping abrubtly when she spotted Alaric sitting at the bar, grading papers and drinking scotch. She took a deep breath and looked away, eyes coming in contact with somebody sitting at the other end of the bar and her dead heart skipped a beat. With only the view of him from behind, she saw that he had dark hair; dark as night which contrasted with pale, flawless skin and was wearing a black leather jacket with black jeans. _Could it be...? _

Suddenly, somebody seemed to catch his attention from behind and he turned around. Elena immediately deflated and pure, strong dissapointment coursed through her and she saw him for what he really was. His hair wasn't pure black; but dark brown. His skin had a slight tan to it and his leather jacket looked fake. He was skinnier and he was smiling; not smirking. He raised his hand to take a drink of a martini, something she knew that Damon would never order._ Of course he's not Damon, what were you thinking?_

"-and Tyler wanted to bring those brownies that his cousin made, but Mr. Tanner wouldn't let him." Caroline was saying when Elena forced herself to listen.

Bonnie groaned, "Ugh. Mr. Tanner was such an asshole. But I guess nobody has to worry about him anymore." she scoffed, and Elena froze for about half a second before Bonnie realized her mistake.

"Elena, I'm sorry-"

"Don't worry about it." Elena said shortly, looking away and grinding her teeth together. Caroline and Bonnie exchanged another look before Caroline opened her mouth hesitantly.

"So, speaking of. Have you heard from Damon?" she asked boldly.

"Caroline." Bonnie warned.

"She needs to talk about it." Caroline started. She turned to speak to Elena, "Last time, you refused to talk about it with anyone and I think it made it harder for you to move on."

"No. I haven't heard from him. He won't answer his phone." Elena interrupted lowly. "Last time-" Deep breath. "last time he disconnected his phone. I'm afraid he'll do it again."

Caroline sighed sympathetically before lighting up, as if a lightbulb had turned on over her head and she reached into her purse for her iPhone. "He won't answer for you, but maybe he will for me." she said while scrolling through her contacts and eventually holding it to her ear.

"Caroline-" Elena started warily, but her friend shushed her and they waited, only Elena and Caroline able to hear the ringing.

Just when she thought it was going to go to voicemail, Damon's all too familiar voice picked up and Elena immediately perked up.

"_What?" _came his voice, smooth and bored and all at once. Elena wanted to close her eyes at the sound of his voice, annoyed as it may sound.

"Hey Damon!" Caroline greeted, surprise evident in her voice that he answered.

He was quiet for a moment before responding blandly, "_Hey."_

Caroline held Elena's eyes while she replied, "What's up?" she asked hesitantly.

"_Is there a reason you called, Blondie?" _

"No particular reason, I just wanted to see what's up. Where are you?" she asked casually while Elena listened intently to his answer.

"_Let me guess. Elena asked you to call me and she's currently sitting right next to you."_

Caroline didn't respond at first, only stared at Elena sympathetically before opening her mouth. "No, she didn't ask me. But she is sitting next to me. Do you want to talk to her?"

Elena immediately started to shake her head, but Caroline shushed her with a look and waited for his reply.

"_If I had any desire to talk to her, then I'd answer my phone." _he said shortly, blankly. Elena flinched at the respond and looked away. Judging by Caroline's face expression, she was about to reply with something bitchy, but didn't get the chance because something sounded in the backround on Damon's line. A female's voice, lilting and accented, and very familiar.

Elena's feet acted on their own accord and she stood up, almost knocking the stool back in her haste to leave. Bonnie called her name but she didn't stop until she was outside, standing on the side of the building and she sagged against it, breathing heavily.

Was this how it was always going to be? Hearing from Damon through others but never speaking to him herself? He had obviously moved on; hell, he was probably partying in some huge town, binging on alcohol and blood with Rebekah. He was out experiencing foreign countries and different cultures and she was still stuck in Mystic Falls, without him. The few short weeks he had been here, she had felt whole again; alive. He had made her smile and have fun and had reminded her what it was like to be Damon Salvatore's friend. And now he was gone, leaving without barely a goodbye.

She imaged the next decade with vivid clarity. Her and Stefan, with their easy and comfortable compatibilaty, staying in Mystic Falls for a few more years. Maybe they'd leave eventually and go to school somewhere, maybe in Colorado or Kansas. They'd settle down in some town for a few years, get jobs that they didn't really need but filled some time in their forever. Then in another few years, they'd go back to Mystic Falls. They'd see Damon again, he'd be with Rebekah or Katherine or some other vampire that he enjoys company with. Then maybe her and Damon would finally be able to be friends with no attraction or feelings or unresolved pasts. Things would be how they were meant to be when she supposedly chose Stefan four years previous.

But she didn't want it. She didn't want predictable. And she certainly didn't want an easy friendship with Damon. She just wanted...

"Hey, are you okay?" someone asked, causing Elena to jump up. She turned to see the guy at the bar, the one she had briefly mistaken for Damon. He was standing a few feet away, looking at her with a concerned expression.

"I saw you come out here, and you looked upset." he said, walking closer so that Elena got a better view of his face and noticed that his eyes were a midnight blue color, but nowhere near the hue she craved. Her eyes wondered down him, looking for other traits until she stopped at the pulse in his neck.

"What's your name?" she asked slowly, stepping away from the wall to close the distance between them. She looked at him straightly and let a small wave of compulsion hit him, causing his eyes to glaze over slightly.

"Daniel." he said blankly.

Elena sighed at the irony and leaned in, "This is only gonna hurt for a moment, Daniel." she murmured, and let her face change. She bit roughly down on his neck, sighing when the sweet blood flowed easily into her mouth. In the backround of her cloudly haze, she could feel him struggling slightly and gasping. She ignored it and kept drinking, getting lost in the taste. There was no one to stop her; no one standing behind her with a patient hand on her shoulder or proud words to give her when she stopped successfully. So she kept drinking.

"Elena! Stop!" a familiar voice yelled, and someone started pulling her back. She struggled for a moment but was pushed back onto the cement wall. Caroline's face appeared in front of her, surprised and wary. "What did you do?" she asked, voice taking on a horrified tone. Elena's face changed back to normal as she looked past her, and she gasped. Daniel was laying on the ground, chest barely moving as the gash in his neck bled profusely, and he seemed to be choking.

"I- I was just..." Elena trailed off, unable to find words to justify her actions. Caroline's eyes narrowed at her, before she turned around and knelt next to the bleeding man. She bit into her wrist and held it over his mouth, laying it their for a moment before cursing.

"He's dead." she said shortly, and turned to look at Elena. She gaped at the blonde and stuttered, tears finding their way to her eyes as the reality of what she had just done struck her. Before she knew it, she was sobbing and holding her hands over her mouth, the tears blurring her vision. Caroline stood up and hesitantly made her way over to her, wrapping her thin arms around Elena's frame as she shook violently.

"I didn't mean to- I just.. was thinking and he appeared and he- he..." Elena blubbered the words she could not speak and sunk into Caroline's embrace.

"Shhh." Caroline said soothingly. She looked over Elena's shoulder and studied the boy's face, contemplating what made him seem so familiar. Her eyes ran over his dark jeans and jacket, to his almost black hair and attractive features before sighing knowingly.

"Damon." she said quietly, so lowly that a human wouldn't have heard it. Elena, hearing exactly what she had expected, nodded.

"Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Elena?" Caroline asked softly.

Elena pulled away from her and swiped her cheeks, as if able to stop the flow of tears that still fell and shook her head. "I don't know what you mean."

"Damon was here. You could have made things right with him, and now's he's gone again and you act like you don't know why he left." She said, studying her friend's tight expression for continuing. "I know you love Stefan, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to be with him. But... I think you have to look at what you wanted then and what you want now. What do you want, Elena?"

Elena shook her head slowly, looking past Caroline. What did she want? She knew that she wanted, no, _needed _Damon in her life one way or the other. But there was only one way Damon would be in her life and it was the one thing she had always been terrified of. But she also knew that Damon was long gone by now; he wouldn't answer his phone and she had no clue as to where he was.

She also knew she didn't want to stay in Mystic Falls forever. She felt as if the town was suffocating her insidiously, and the one thing that made it feel right by being there was probably halfway around the world by now.

She knew that she loved Stefan. But the love she had felt for him five years ago and the love she felt for him now was different. No, it wasn't in a brotherly or unromantic way, but it seemed so much different compared to her love for his elder brother. In a way, she wishes that he had never left with Klaus, if it hadn't of been completely necessary. The few months they were apart had as might as well been a few years; a few years she had spent seeing different sides of Damon and unknowingly and unwantingly falling in love with him. If Stefan had never left, she would have never gotten to know Damon so much more than she thought she did.

She thought of Damon, _really _thought about him in the way she had only ever done deep into the night, when everybody was sleeping and she could get away with it. She thought of his perfect face and his perfect body. She thought of the way a piece of errant hair always curled around his left ear in a way she thought nobody noticed but her. She thought of the infuriating and sarcastic fronte he put on in front of everybody to protect himself, and the way she always saw through it. She thought of his alcoholic tendencies and how she had once discovered his love for Harry Potter. She thought about his compassion and consuming love that he felt for only few people. She thought of the dimples that appeared on his face when he rarely genuinely smiled. She thought of his eyes that sparkled ominisously when he wore all black, and how they seemed to turn silver when he was angry.

"I want-" _him. _The word was on the tip of her tongue but she was sorely interrupted when Bonnie entered her line of sight, Stefan on her heels. Two pairs of eyes looked in unison to the dead body laying on the ground to Caroline's tragedy-stricken face and Elena' tear-stained one. Stefan walked forward, eyes trained on Elena.

"What's going on?" he asked. Elena blinked her tears away and wiped her blood-coated mouth off with her sleeve. She smiled gratefully at Caroline and squeezed her hand before walking over to the body and kneeling down. _I'm so sorry, _she thought, thinking of his family and friends and goals that were now ruined because of her need for someone who was gone. She reached out and closed his eyes with two fingers before standing up and walking. Elena shrugged off Stefan's hand and headed to her car, attempting to remember where she had last stowed her suitcase.

~0~

_Please let me know what you think. Cronstructive criticism always welcome._


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